Snow White Read Online Free

Snow White
Book: Snow White Read Online Free
Author: Donald Barthelme
Pages:
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‘increasing the size of the herd.’ But the water on my back is interesting. It is
     more than interesting. Marvelous is the word for it.”
    THERE were some straw flowers there. Decor. And somebody had said something we hadn’t
     heard, but Dan was very excited. “I praise fruit and hold flowers in disdain,” Apollinaire
     said, and we contrasted that with what LaGuardia had said. Then Bill said something:
     “Torch in the face.” He was very drunk. Other people said other things. I smoked an
     Old Gold cigarette. It is always better when everybody is calm, but calm does not
     come every day. Lamps are calm. The Secretary of State is calm. Each day just goes
     so fast, begins and ends. The poignant part came when Edward began to say what everybody
     already knew about him. “After I read the book, I—” “Don’t say that Edward,” Kevin
     said. “Don’t say anything you’ll regret later.” Bill put a big black bandage over
     Edward’s mouth, and Clem took off all his clothes. I smoked an Old Gold cigarette,
     the same one I had been smoking before. There was still some of it left because I
     had put it down without finishing it. Alicia showed us her pornographic pastry. Some
     things aren’t poignant at all and that pornographic pastry is one of them. Bill was
     trying to keep the tiredness off his face. I wanted to get out of this talk and look
     at the window. But Bill had something else to say, and he wasn’t going to leave until
     he had said it, I could see that. “Well it is a pleasure to please her, when human
     ingenuity can manage it,but the whole thing is just trembling on the edge of monotony, after several years.
     And yet . . . I am fond of her. Yes, I am. For when sexual pleasure is had, it makes
     you fond, in a strange way, of the other one, the one with whom you are having it.”
    SNOW WHITE was cleaning. “Book lice do not bite people,” she said to herself. She
     sprayed the books with a five-percent solution of DDT. Then she dusted them with the
     dusting brush of the vacuum cleaner. She did not bang the books together, for that
     injures the bindings. Then she oiled the bindings with neat’s-foot oil, applying the
     oil with the palm of her hand and with her fingers. Then she mended some torn pages
     using strips cut from rice paper. She ironed some rumpled pages with a warm iron.
     Fresh molds were wiped off the bindings with a clean soft cloth slightly dampened
     with sherry. Then she hung a bag containing paradichlorobenzene in the book case,
     to inhibit mildew. Then Snow White cleaned the gas range. She removed the pans beneath
     the burners and grates and washed them thoroughly in hot suds. Then she rinsed them
     in clear water and dried them with paper towels. Using washing soda and a stiff brush,
     she cleaned the burners, paying particular attention to the gas orifices, through
     which the gas flows. She cleaned out the ports with a hairpin, rinsed them thoroughly
     and dried them with paper towels. Then she returned the drip tray, the burners and
     grates to their proper positions and lit each burner to make sure it was working.
     Then she washed the inside of the broiler compartment with a cloth wrung out inwarm suds, with just a bit of ammonia to help cut the grease. Then she rinsed the
     broiler compartment with a cloth wrung out in clear water and dried it with paper
     towels. The pan and rack of the broiler were done in the same way. Then Snow White
     cleaned the oven using steel wool on the tough spots. Then she rinsed the inside of
     the oven with a cloth wrung out in clear water and dried it with paper towels. Then,
     “piano care.”

WHAT SNOW WHITE REMEMBERS:
    THE HUNTSMAN
    THE FOREST
    THE STEAMING KNIFE

“I WAS fair once,” Jane said. “I was the fairest of them all. Men came from miles
     around simply to be in my power. But those days are gone. Those better days. Now I
     cultivate my malice. It is a cultivated malice, not the pale natural malice we
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