Snakes' Elbows Read Online Free

fists.
    All of Jasper’s parties had a theme. At the most recent one, all the guests had been told to dress up as animals. Jasper himself had gone as a parrot. He had worn an extraordinary costume made of thousands and thousands of brightly coloured feathers, all sewn together by hand (although not, of course, by Jasper). At the back was a long green feathery tail that trailed the ground when he walked. As you might imagine, he looked like a complete twit. Because all the people at the party were dressed as animals – mice and rabbits and monkeys and cats – Jasper thought it would be hilariousif the animals at the party were dressed as people. He therefore, at great expense, had some clothes made for the two dogs. Cannibal was forced to wear a three-piece pinstriped suit with a shirt and tie. Jasper even had a jeweller make Cannibal a little pocket watch on a chain. Poor Bruiser had to put on a small silk frock printed with roses and with a wide pink sash. How the guests laughed when they saw the two dogs! Even the ones who didn’t think it was funny pretended that they did because they were afraid of Jasper. ‘Don’t they look ridiculous! Isn’t it a hoot!’
    The circus party had been even worse although to begin with it hadn’t seemed so, for Cannibal and Bruiser had only had to wear small frilly collars like circus dogs, and pointy hats. Jasper was dressed as a ringmaster, complete with a top hat, a red satin jacket and a long leather whip. The whole house and garden had been turned into a circus. There were acrobats in the library and a lion tamerin the conservatory. There were fire-eaters on the lawn, a dancing bear in the front hall and everywhere there were clowns.
    Although there was lots of good food, Cannibal and Bruiser weren’t given any because all the guests were under strict instructions not to feed the dogs. The guests knew that if they broke this rule they risked being thrown out immediately and never invited to any of Jasper’s parties ever again. Jasper always kept the dogs hungry to make them bad-tempered. He liked the idea of being seen out and about with two mad snarling Alsatians because it would make him look frightening and Jasper loved to think that people were scared of him. Cannibal and Bruiser were such good-natured dogs however that they didn’t become black-hearted no matter how mean Jasper was to them. They spent most of their lives trailing around behind him in a deep sulk.
    *
    On the night of the circus party they wanderedaround the house and grounds, sticking together and looking out for each other.
    â€˜Careful, Cannibal!’ Bruiser said, as a trick cyclist whizzed past, missing his companion by a whisker.
    â€˜Mind out, Bruiser,’ Cannibal exclaimed, as a spinning plate fell off a pole and smashed to the ground, almost hitting his friend on the head.
    And then suddenly behind them, Raakk! Someone had cracked a whip. The two dogs looked at each other in fright. Raakk! ‘What will we do?’ Cannibal asked.
    â€˜Run,’ Bruiser said. ‘RUN!’
    Raakk! The dogs ran and ran as fast as they possibly could to try to get away, but ahead of them now someone was holding up a hoop. Now this would have been no problem whatsoever except for one minor detail: the hoop was on fire. It was a perfect circle of flickering orange flames against the night sky and they could feel the heat of it already ontheir snouts because, still running at full pelt, Cannibal and Bruiser were heading straight for it!
    â€˜What will we do?’ Bruiser asked.
    â€˜Jump,’ Cannibal said. ‘JUMP!’
    Side by side and more terrified than they had ever been in all their lives, the two dogs leapt through the blazing hoop. They made it, but it was a tight fit. Cannibal’s collar was slightly burnt on the right-hand side and the hair on Bruiser’s left flank was scorched. Trembling and panting, they collapsed on the grass. All