Silver Linings Read Online Free Page B

made it this far in life without learning to let go of hurts from the past, especially the pain her parents had brought into her life. To the father who’d been a drunk and who’d abandoned her and her mother when Katie was a toddler. She’d had to move past the anger she carried about a mother who had then sought release from the pain of that rejection in drugs and alcohol as well.
    “Was it easy?”
    Katie wasn’t sure how this all had gotten turned around and she was the one answering the questions. “No. It was hard, but I knew it was necessary.”
    “Why?”
    “Why did I forgive or why was it necessary?” Her friend had grown quiet and intense. Coco’s fingers clung to the soda can as if trying to strangle it.
    “Both.”
    “I haven’t seen or heard from my father in over twenty-five years. He didn’t ask for forgiveness, nor did he seek me out. As a kid, especially when I got into my teens, I wanted to see him just so I could cuss him out. It never happened, though, and I suppose it was just as well.”
    “Did you hate him?”
    Katie considered the question. “Hate him? No, not really. I figured in the end he probably got what he deserved. Life is like that, you know?”
    “Like what?”
    “It’s the old ‘what goes around comes around’ philosophy. At least that’s the way I like to think it works. My father treated people badly and he ended up alone.”
    “That gives me hope,” Coco murmured.
    Katie reacted quickly. “Hope?” she blurted out.
    “I mean without hope. Those kinds of people usually end up without hope, right?”
    “Right.” Katie was fairly certain she hadn’t misunderstood her friend. She studied Coco with fresh eyes. Although Coco never talked about what happened with Ryan, Katie was well aware her friend longed for some kind of payback. But then, how could she not? If the situation were reversed, Katie was fairly certain she’d feel the same way.
    “You forgave your father, though,” Coco asked.
    Katie glanced down at her hands. She didn’t want to mislead her friend, so she told the truth. “It took time. It didn’t happen overnight.”
    “But how?”
    Katie leaned her head back again. “It was around Christmas one year. At the time I must have been about twenty, maybe twenty-one. I was getting out of class. The night was cold and dark, and snow was threatening. As I walked to the bus stop I saw a man spread-eagle on the lawn, passed out with an empty liquor bottle at his side. Someone had called campus security and a couple of officers were trying to rouse him. My bus arrived and I wasn’t able to follow what happened after I left. While I was on the bus I had the weirdest sensation that the drunk man could easily have been my father. I didn’t see his face clearly or recognize anything about him that would remind me of my dad. Right away I felt sad and this overwhelming sense of pity came over me. I pitied him. His was a life wasted.”
    “So you went from hate to pity?” Coco took another long swallow of her soda.
    “I don’t think I ever truly hated him. I was angry and hurt and as little as I was when he left, I felt responsible somehow. That doesn’t make sense, but in my line of work I see it all the time. Kids, no matter how young, blame themselves for what happens to their families. Even though this makes about as much sense as a kid thinking that not finishing his homework is the cause of global warming.”
    Coco’s look grew intense and thoughtful. She went quiet for several seconds. “Some things can’t be forgiven though.”
    “Not easily, that’s for sure. The thing I’ve learned—and trust me, I’m no expert—is that forgiveness isn’t a gift we give the offender. It’s something we do for ourselves.”
    “That’s easy enough to say…”
    “I know.” In the distance the Bremerton ferry dock came into view. In order to distract herself from the inevitable, Katie looked away. All this talk about forgiveness had brought to the