She Poured Out Her Heart Read Online Free Page B

dark inside and they bumped against furniture. “Hold on . . .” Tim felt along the door frame and flipped a light switch, then turned it off again. Jane saw flashbulbs behind her eyes. At least they knew where the bed was, more or less. Jane backed into it and sat, her legs sticking straight out, and Tim tripped over them and they fell into the mattress in a tangle and Jane hit her head on a wall but that was all right because her head was not quite attached to the rest of her by now. She reached up and felt his bristly hair, which was softer than she’d imagined, and then his face was up against hers and his big wet tongue was slathering around inside her mouth.
    She didn’t dislike this, exactly, but she wasn’t transported by it either. She wished everything would slow down so she could take her time with each different sensation: hair, tongue, and so on. But she was losing track of the sequence of events, there was a blinking, staticky quality to her understanding, because her pants and underpants were now off, and Tim was tickling her down there in a way meant to be pleasing, sheguessed, but was perhaps too energetic for that, and anyway it was embarrassing, like a doctor’s appointment. Her sweater and her bra were still on, which seemed like a mistake: perhaps she should call it to his attention?
    â€œYou ready?” His fingers were inside her. At least that made sense. Ready? Excuse me, I don’t understand the question. He didn’t wait for her to answer, but rolled away from her and put her hand on his penis, which felt like a skin-covered tube with a doorknob on the end. It was so comical! How did men walk around with this branch sticking out of them? She’d only seen pictures before, not the actual item, and it could be argued that she wasn’t really seeing this one now, it was too dark in the room.
    She had no idea what she was meant to do with it. “How . . .” she began.
    â€œMedium hard, and fast,” he directed her, moving her hand up and down, and then she did get the hang of it, a little, and he began breathing and blowing in a loud, alarming way, and then he’d landed on top of her, impossibly heavy. She had to try and reclaim different parts of herself and wiggle loose. Really, there was such a great deal of him, so much in the way of flopping legs and smothering chest. She felt sorry for him, having to inhabit this big, unworkable body.
    â€œAlmost forgot.” He caught his breath, laughed a little, swung his legs over the bed, and started feeling around. “Give me a sec here, I need my party hat.”
    Had he gone crazy or something? A hat? A small crinkling, tearing sound and God she was so dumb. She hadn’t given one thought to precautions, or all the dire consequences, the warnings that were meant to scare you off, well, too late. She could just barely make him out, sitting and working away at getting the condom on, and she would have liked to see that part, just from curiosity. “Uh, thanks,” she said. “It’s very . . .” She wanted to say something like chivalrous, but that was stupid. “Cooperative of you,” she finished, which was also pretty stupid.
    â€œSafety first,” he said cheerfully, and then he was back on top of her, prodding at her with the doorknob end of his thing, and at first it wouldn’t go in and then he took hold of himself and it did, a little, and she yelped.
    â€œS’OK,” he said, but it wasn’t, it hurt, it didn’t seem to fit right, and this was beginning to seem like an all around bad idea, shouldn’t they talk about it first? He pushed in farther and Jane went
Owowow
, and he raised himself up on his elbows and said, “How about you make less noise and move more?”
    He didn’t sound mad or anything, more like he was trying to be encouraging. As always when given instructions, she tried to follow them.