Sex and the Confession Box Read Online Free

thing. He declared as he raised his hand to God in an act as though on stage, messing of course to lighten the load! Hell no I wouldn’t let a man drive me to this if anything he’d be running in here looking for sanctuary. We both laughed, there it is the smile of an angel he said looking at me. I put my head down suddenly remembering my shame and my inner most pain. I darted my eyes to the door, thinking of fleeing, I looked up at him and looked  really looked for the first time, Jesus he wasn’t old  maybe thirty five, thirty seven at most Handsome with a softness, a rough softness, nice olive skin with tiny signs of teenage acne but it suited him, an oval shaped face with lovely beautiful grey eyes with flecks of gold, his hair jet black almost with a blue colour and unshaven but not hung-over unshaven, kind of like when your Da comes home from work with that bristle that he’d rub of your face when he lifted you up to hug you as you ran to greet him at dinner time. He was tall I’d say 6 feet one but then most men seemed so tall to me as I was five foot five and a wee bit! I felt myself get a twinkle of light in my gut, butterflies. I thought oh my god you whore here you are with a man of God and you’re having impure thoughts your damned to hell for sure. As though he was reading my mind he said would you prefer it if we went back into the old box and continued or maybe leave it for another day. I smiled, I do need to tell you but it’s just so hard, and I don’t know if I could take the judgement. Listen I will tell you a story to give you an idea of the things I have heard.

Ok I nodded, he poured himself another and me to but added a wee drop of white lemonade to it. I’ve been a priest fifteen years and was working here on the confessional about a week ago, it was one of those days when the sin was in everyone and everyone in sin. I’d been in that bloody box for well at least two hours when I had a wee peek out and there was just one feller left thank the saints I thought well not really but I can’t say what I really did with a lady present an all. I bowed my head. I heard him come into the box and I give him a few minutes to get comfy as you do then I slid back the wee slot and there looking right at me was my own life. What? I asked, he was pointing a gun straight in at my head, big old gun but real and deadly none the less. Holy fuck what did you do, oops sorry! Are you joking me that’s what I was thinking to? Well I looked at the gun and at the man’s face which he didn’t try to hide which is when I knew for sure I was a dead man as a dead man can’t identify anybody now can they? But I looked up at him, you know really looked, and all I saw was fear, he was more afraid than myself, so I said to him” I don’t blame you, you know on a good day I want to kill myself, the man looked at me with amazement, what the fuck do you mean you want to kill yourself aren’t your kind against suicide burn in hell and all. Well sometimes you just feel there’s no way out of this fucking life. I have no choice, said the man in his late twenties with red spiky hair and bleak blue eyes nice skin, I knew he wasn’t there out of choice you know with this shit hole of a war with Britain all sorts of wee young lads are drawn in and I knew he was one who didn’t have the stomach for it but it was me or him. What’s your name son? why do you want to know that for ,well why not say a wee prayer to the big man when I’m up there for ya. You’d pray for me after I killed ya? Of course I would forgiveness an all. Well fuck you and your fuck forgiveness I don’t need it, I don’t want it.Thats when his eyes filled up and he wiped them on his dirty faded denim jacket, I’m as lost as you father. Peter what? Peter that’s my name well I’m not telling ya mine, that’s all right. How can I help ya? By stopping talking so I can think. Theres no way out you no they told me I had to kill a priest to kill you