word.
What the hell, Candace? I asked myself, shaking my head as I turned on the shower. The room was still steamy from Katarina’s time under the water, and I looked into the fogged-up mirror as I undressed. My comb and brush were lying on the counter next to the sink – she must have used them to comb out her hair after the shower. I stared at them for a moment, curiously comforted by the idea that she had used my things.
Stepping into the shower, I tried to forget the outside world completely. I stayed under the water until my body felt heavy and the steam made it hard to breathe. I tried hard not to think about Mr. Stevens, but he crept into my thoughts anyway. Still, the shower did me good. The steam cradled my naked body like a warm embrace. I didn’t step out of the shower until my water heater started to give up the ghost, and what came out of the showerhead was cooling down fast.
I dressed in the hot pink gown, digging my bare toes into the plush bathmat. This was not the most appropriate gown for the occasion. It was sexy, skimpy – something that should be worn for a man in bed, not on a night like this one. But it was the first thing I had grabbed in my haste to get out of the bedroom. And honestly, Katarina might not even notice it. She was still disturbed by everything that had happened tonight – either that, or she was already asleep. Come on, Candace, I scolded. Stop being so weird and just go out there.
I stepped quietly out of the bathroom to find her sitting up in the bed with the light on. She was covered to the waist in blankets, simply looking around the room. Quietly contemplating things, perhaps. “Hey, you,” she said. “How was the shower?” Her eyes were dark, but at least there were no tears in them this time.
“Fantastic,” I replied truthfully. “But now I’m exhausted.” She gave me a shaky smile, but then a sudden look of uncertainty flashed across her face.
“Um, Candace…” she stammered, “do you, uh… do you think we could both sleep in the bed tonight? I… I kind of feel weird sleeping alone.” She blushed as she spoke, looking embarrassed.
“Sure,” I replied. What else could I say? Telling her I would sleep on the couch would make her feel worse than she already did, and that was the last thing she needed right now. And to tell the truth, maybe I needed some comfort, too. We ’ll be like best buddies in college, I thought to myself. S leeping in the same bed and whispering about our men into the wee hours of the morning …
…Except we have the same man. The intrusive thought came to me as I slipped underneath the covers with her. How many times had she shared intimacies with Mr. Stevens? The jealousy reared up again, but I quickly pushed it aside. There was no room for those feelings, not now.
Katarina reached over to the bedside lamp. She looked back at me. “Do you mind?” I shook my head, and she turned off the lamp. Now the only light came from the street, casting a soft glow over the foot of the bed.
I listened and felt the bed move as she settled down beside me, the satin moving with an almost illicit whisper against the sheets. The moment seemed charged with a strange energy, somehow, but I couldn’t put my finger on it. It was so quiet that I could hear the quiet breathing from each of us. We laid there like that for a minute or so, neither of us breaking the intimate silence.
“I’m scared, Candace,” said Katarina suddenly. There was a rustle as she turned in the bed to face me. We were so close that I could feel the cool touch of her breath on my skin, causing goosebumps to rise up on my flesh.
“I just feel so… lost ,” she said, her voice barely a whisper. “Do you feel lost?”
Sudden tears stung my eyes. “…Yes,” I said, in a quavering voice. I felt all the uncertainty of the night pressing down on me, all the questions and worries finally boiling to the surface all