windlessness
Of our house in Taos.
Demand
Listen!
Dear dream of utter aliveness—
Touching my body of utter death—
Tell me, O quickly! dream of aliveness,
The flaming source of your bright breath.
Tell me, O dream of utter aliveness—
Knowing so well the wind and the sun—
Where is this light
Your eyes see forever?
And what is this wind
You touch when you run?
Dream
Last night I dreamt
This most strange dream,
And everywhere I saw
What did not seem could ever be:
You were not there with me!
Awake,
I turned
And touched you
Asleep,
Face to the wall.
I said,
How dreams
Can lie!
But you were not there at all!
Night: Four Songs
Night of the two moons
And the seventeen stars,
Night of the day before yesterday
And the day after tomorrow,
Night of the four songs unsung:
Sorrow! Sorrow!
Sorrow! Sorrow!
Luck
Sometimes a crumb falls
From the tables of joy,
Sometimes a bone
Is flung.
To some people
Love is given,
To others
Only heaven.
Old Walt
Old Walt Whitman
Went finding and seeking,
Finding less than sought
Seeking more than found,
Every detail minding
Of the seeking or the finding.
Pleasured equally
In seeking as in finding,
Each detail minding,
Old Walt went seeking
And finding.
Kid in the Park
Lonely little question mark
on a bench in the park:
See the people passing by?
See the airplanes in the sky?
See the birds
flying home
before
dark?
Home’s just around
the corner
there—
but not really
anywhere
.
Song for Billie Holiday
What can purge my heart
Of the song
And the sadness?
What can purge my heart
But the song
Of the sadness?
What can purge my heart
Of the sadness
Of the song?
Do not speak of sorrow
With dust in her hair,
Or bits of dust in eyes
A chance wind blows there.
The sorrow that I speak of
Is dusted with despair.
Voice of muted trumpet,
Cold brass in warm air.
Bitter television blurred
By sound that shimmers—
Where?
Fantasy in Purple
Beat the drums of tragedy for me.
Beat the drums of tragedy and death.
And let the choir sing a stormy song
To drown the rattle of my dying breath.
Beat the drums of tragedy for me,
And let the white violins whir thin and slow,
But blow one blaring trumpet note of sun
To go with me
to the darkness
where I go.
AFTER
HOURS
Midnight Raffle
I put my nickel
In the raffle of the night.
Somehow that raffle
Didn’t turn out right.
I lost my nickel.
I lost my time.
I got back home
Without a dime.
When I dropped that nickel
In the subway slot,
I wouldn’t have dropped it,
Knowing what I got.
I could just as well’ve
Stayed home inside:
My bread wasn’t buttered
On neither side.
What?
Some pimps wear summer hats
Into late fall
Since the money that comes in
Won’t cover it all—
Suit, overcoat, shoes—
And hat, too!
Got to neglect something,
So what would you do?
Gone Boy
Playboy of the dawn,
Solid gone!
Out all night
Until 12 — 1—2 a.m.
Next day
When he should be gone
To work—
Dog-gone!
He ain’t gone.
50–50
I’m all alone in this world, she said,
Ain’t got nobody to share my bed,
Ain’t got nobody to hold my hand—
The truth of the matter’s
I ain’t got no man.
Big Boy opened his mouth and said,
Trouble with you is
You ain’t got no head!
If you had a head and used your mind
You could have
me
with you
All the time.
She answered, Babe, what must I do?
He said, Share your