Selby Shattered Read Online Free

officers put on their toast!’
the voice yelled out.
    Selby’s eyes darted from one person to the next.
    ‘I can’t see who’s doing it,’ he thought.
    Gary went on. ‘My hopeless little brother thought that a see-saw was —’
    ‘Something you cut water with!
’ the heckler yelled.
    ‘No wonder I didn’t see him!’ Selby thought. ‘He’s dressed like a woman this time! He’s about three rows back. No one’s spotted him! I’ve got to stop him before he ruins Gary’s act again.’
    Selby slipped silently along the row just behind the ghostly gagster.
    ‘This is him, I know it is!’ Selby looked up at the woman’s hair hanging down over the back of the seat. ‘I’ll just wait a second to be sure.’
    ‘One day Larry and I were getting dressed to go to school,’ Gary said, ‘and I said, “Hey, you’ve got holes in your underwear.” And he said —’
    ‘Here I go!’ Selby thought. ‘Selby to the rescue!’
    And the voice yelled out, ‘Of course I’ve got holes in my underwear. How do you think I —
‘
    As soon as those words were out of his mouth, the man felt a sudden tug from behind that pulled off his wig and his mask at the same time.
    ‘How do you think I get my feet into them …’ the man said, his voice getting slower and lower as he went. ‘Hey! What’s going on here?!’
    As Selby crept quietly beneath the seats, the man suddenly stood up. Gary Gaggs stared at him in disbelief.
    ‘Larry!’ he cried. ‘It’s you, my own brother! You’re the one who’s been ruining my shows! Why? Why did you do it?’

    Larry’s face turned pink, then red and then deep purple. Tears formed in his eyes.
    ‘Because you’re not nice,’ he sobbed. ‘Just because you’re Mr Big Famous Comedian doesn’t mean you can be cruel to your little brother.’
    ‘Oh, Larry,’ Gary said, stepping off the stage. ‘I was just joking.’
    ‘Jokes can hurt people, you know.’
    ‘I’m so sorry,’ Gary said, giving his brother a big hug. ‘I had no idea I was hurting your feelings. I promise I’ll never tell jokes about you again. Will you forgive me?’
    ‘Yes,’ Larry said, blowing his nose, ‘if you’ll forgive me for ruining your shows.’
    And, as Selby slipped secretly out from beneath the seats, he heard the loudest clapping and cheering that he’d ever heard at one of Gary’s comedy shows.
    ‘Isn’t that lovely?’ Selby thought as he too felt tears come to his eyes. ‘I think this was Gary’s greatest show ever.’
    Paw note: See the story ‘Selby’s Shemozzle’ in the book
Selby’s Shemozzle
.
    There are more of Gary’s heckler busters at the end of this book.
    S
    Paw note: See the story ‘Selby Supersnoop, Dog Detective’ in the book
Selby Supersnoop
.
    S

The Search for Selby
    ‘This is seriously weird!’ Selby gasped. ‘Suddenly there are dogs all over town — huge dogs! They’re everywhere! We’re in the middle of a dog invasion!’
    Two dogs stopped in the street.
    ‘Arf!’
one of them said. ‘I’m Figaro.’
    ‘
Bow wow,
the other one answered. ‘I’m Piddles. Pleased to meet you. Have you seen Kewpie?’
    ‘Is she the Irish Setter?’
    ‘No, she’s the Wolfhound Pomeranian cross.’
    ‘I think she’s at the Convention Centre.’
    ‘What is happening here?!’ Selby screamed in his brain. ‘They’re not only dogs — they’re
talking
dogs, just like me! I thought I was the only talking dog in Australia and, perhaps, the world!’
    Selby stood there, stunned, as dogs passed him on the footpath.
    ‘Wait just a minute,’ he thought. ‘There’s something wrong here. They’re all walking on their hind legs. Maybe they’re walking on their
only
legs. I reckon they’re people in dog suits and not dogs at all. Phew! I’m glad I didn’t talk to them because I’d have given away my secret.’
    ‘It’s the annual meeting of the SSS,’ Mrs Trifle explained to Dr Trifle later that day. ‘They’re the first group to hire the new Convention