then it grabbed the pastry from my hand and began eating it. I made a very unladylike squeak which surprised me enough to make me duck again. Seemed like I was doing that a lot lately.
I froze. I couldn't even look at Mason, whose feet turned slowly in my direction. I watched them and when they didn't move, I raised my eyes just enough to see his waist. My head wouldn't move any farther cause the 'it' in question was sitting on my hair. I usually keep it short but I've been overdue for a haircut from some time. I was hoping to get Sarah or Lacy to cut it before we left. Soon, a lot of someones clomped their heavy boots out to the porch and stood looking at me. I knew this because all the toes of the boots were pointed my direction.
Then I heard a snicker. It was followed by a couple more snickers then they all started laughing. Great big guffaws and belly laughs. The ones that make you grab your stomach and snort coffee up your nose. I still couldn't raise my head cause of the something sitting on my hair, so I had no idea what was going on. I was not only curious as you might imagine, but I was quickly becoming pissed off. Sloppy, wet eating sounds were great big booming noises so close to my ear and just when I was ready to do something, a great long, skinny, fuzzy tail wrapped itself around my face right under my nose. That of course, cause the laughing, snorting troop of idiots surrounding me to start rolling on the floor. I, however, was Not amused.
I found my legs and stood. At this height I could see the faces of my 'rescuers' which were various colors due to their hilarity. My new 'friend' was starting to get heavy on my shoulder, so I walker over to Mason and glared at him. I guess my glare is losing some of its effectiveness because Mason just looked at me. I noticed his lips thinning and his chin moving and realized he was trying not to laugh. I bent forward a bit and said, “You WILL get this thing off my back,” snickers rose behind me, “right this minute or you WILL sleep elsewhere the rest of your natural life. Do. You. Understand?” Evidently, he didn't cause he chose that moment to resume laughing. I turned just in time for Mickey to come back out on the porch and yell, “A monkey, look everyone. JD, found a monkey.” For some reason this prompted my 'heroes' into action because they jumped at the door en mass to stop the kids from coming out. The cabin shook as they barricaded the door with their bodies .
“A monkey, Mason? That's what's sitting on my shoulder eating my pie? A damned monkey?”
The guys didn't know whether to look at me or Mason. They finally decided that the best defense in this case was to back off. So they all, man to man, stood behind Mason and tried unsuccessfully not to laugh while a monkey sat on my shoulder eating my breakfast. So I walked towards Mason who started to back away. OK, so I turned towards the cabin and came face to face with a window full of kids. As a group they tilted they heads to one side and said, “Aww”. Well, that wasn't a good idea so I turned back to the guys, who parted as I approached them. Then I slowly walked down the steps, so the monkey on my back wouldn't get excited and shit down my back on my way to my camper. Every step of the way was punctuated with laughter and smacking noises in my ear. When I finally got inside, I barricaded the door because Mason just done pissed me off royally and he wasn't getting in my bed for a long time.
I took a moment and locked down my mind. I imagined a brick wall that narrowed at the top to gradually meet and close off. Then I reinforced it with steel and re-bar and mortar. No one had access to my mind until I took down the wall. My feelings had been hurt and that's how I planned to