I’m not wasting another day.
Edward’s jaw drops open in shock. “What?” he squeaks, but I only smile broader in response.
As I skip across the street, I wave good-bye and run toward my bike without explanation . I can’t wait to tell my parents what I did. There’s no way in hell they’ll understand, but all the same, my heart is pounding against my ribs because I know what I want and I’m finally content with that decision .
___
“You did what?” Ma snaps, cookie half way to her mouth. It dangles there in midair between her forefinger and thumb. Her pinky is extended—a remnant of an old life.
“I quit. Sottero held my future in her hands and there’s no way in hell I was staying there, not after what she did to Cole. And , then I was thinking about why I went to grad school in the first place. You know what the answer is Ma?”
“Cause you wanted to be successful. Because you want ed to be the best in your field!” She tells me, her voice growing louder—if that’s possible—as she speaks.
“No, Ma. I went because I wa s following in Sottero’s foot prints. I wanted to be like her and now I don’t. She’s a fraud and one of the worst people I’ve ever met. I don’t want that life anymore, Ma. I don’t want to be a wedding photographer.” My words drop like little bombs, each one decimating years and years of careful articulation about my plans for the future.
From the way Ma is looking at me , I can tell she thinks I’ve lost my mind. Daddy is leaning against the counter, his arms folded across his chest. He’s yet to say anything. He wa tches me and my mother , his eyes shifting betwe en us. Frankie the dock dude i s smarter than most people think .
Ma presses her fingers to her temples, trying to keep her brains from explodi ng and messing up the rose wall paper she loves so much. In an even tone, she asks, “Then, what do you want to be, Anna?”
I look at Ma and then at Daddy. They aren’t going to like this. I didn’t really mention what I was shooting at Le Femme, but I was good at it. “A boudoir photographer.”
In unison, they say, “A what?”
“A boudoir photographer. It’s like a pin- up photographer.”
Daddy catches on first, “Like what you were doing for Cole?”
I nod, “Yeah, I liked it and I was really good at it.”
Ma shakes her head and slams her hands on the table. The entire thing shakes under the slam of her hands. “No , Anna! What about college? What about all that money you spent getting that degree? You can’t honestly tell me that you’re quitting college when you’re so close to graduating.”
“Ma,” I groan like a little kid, wishing she’d understand, “I took all my classes. Those were for me. The information’s already in my brain. I don’t need a piece of paper to tell me that.”
Ma huffs. “That piece of paper cost you twenty grand and you’ve got nothing to show for it.”
“I will. I’ll use everything I learned.” I take a breath and spit it out. It’s the plan I came up with on the drive out here. “I’m going to open my own studio.”
Ma’s lips part, but she says nothing. She looks at Daddy like I’ve gone crazy and urges him , “Say something.”
Daddy nods his head for a momen t, then tilts it to the side, asking , “Will this make you happy? Working for yourself is hard and the only person to blame when things don’t work out is you. You think you’re up for that Anna?”
Meeting his gaze, I nod. “Yeah. I’m good at it, Daddy. I know what I want to do. I know how long it will take to turn a profit. I don’t expect to ever be what Cole was, but I know I can support myself. All that money I saved to do post-graduate work is there as a cushion. I don’t need more school, Dad. I need more guts. I’ve been hiding behind books for too long. It’s time for me to get off my ass and start living my life. I’m not letting another day slip between my fingers.”
Daddy smiles at me and my