SEAMONSTER: An Aquarathi Novella (The Aquarathi) Read Online Free Page B

them as she sees my face, and she slams the notebook shut, a half-guilty flush coloring her cheeks.
    “You,” she says hoarsely.
    I smile even though all I want to do is pepper her with questions to see if she’s a threat and something I need to regret. “Mind if I sit?”
    “Free country.”
    “How are you feeling?” I ask after a minute or two of awkward silence.
    Anya tucks a strand of chocolate-brown hair behind one ear and squints at me. The soft blush from before turns fiery with embarrassment. She stares at the sand and cracks the knuckles of her fingers one by one in some kind of nervous tic. “I’m fine. Why do you ask?” Her voice trembles slightly.
    As much as I want to be considerate, I don’t want to play games and I need to know where her head is. If that means being brusque, then that’s what I have to do. I ignore the faint twinge of empathy in my belly. “So why’d you jump? If you’re fine, I mean.”
    Anya’s eyes snap to mine, a bedlam of emotion running through them. I wait them out—shock, anger, resentment, fear, shame, and finally acceptance—before she nods quietly to herself as if coming to some conclusion in her head. Her fingers skim over the face of her notebook like it’s a lifeline. And then she stares right at me as if trying to see down into my soul. My cells leap in response to her intense scrutiny, but I force myself to remain unresponsive. She nods again.
    “I guess I do owe you an explanation.” She swallows hard. “I jumped because I … needed to feel alive.”
    That throws me. “You are alive.”
    “On the outside,” she says after a while, her voice a whisper nearly lost to the wind. “Not so much on the inside. Do you know what I mean?”
    “ No.” I regret the short word as soon as it leaves my mouth as I can see Anya begin to shut down and close off. It’s something I’ve seen Nerissa do when she feels cornered or belittled. “Please,” I say quickly with an apologetic smile. “What I mean is that I don’t understand, and I’d like you to explain.”
    She eyes me, squinting again like she’s weighing whether or not to trust me. Then again, I did save her life. Obviously, she comes to the same resolution because she does another of those little birdlike nods. “Sometimes, I don’t feel anything. I feel numb like my insides are slowly freezing to death. I wanted to wake up. Dead Man’s Cliff seemed like a good idea at the time. I saw some people doing it the day before, and I guess I wanted to jump, too.”
    “So you didn’t want to …” I trail off, clearing my throat uncomfortably. “ Hurt yourself?”
    “Maybe,” she says honestly. Her voice grows fainter and I have to struggle to hear the words before they are taken away by the sea breeze. “Some days, I wonder what it would be like to just give in and leave it all behind. But I can never bring myself to do it. I’m a coward, I guess.”
    “Hardly. It takes a lot of strength to live.”
    Anya’s gaze flicks to me again. Her eyes are blue, I realize—an intense, clear shade of blue, like the sky on a cloudless summer morning. She looks me up and down, frowning. “You look a little different from yesterday. I could have sworn … never mind, it’ll sound stupid.”
    My stomach clenches, all thoughts of beautiful eyes forgotten. “No, go on. What do you mean, different?”
    “ You’re going to think I’m delusional,” she says. “More delusional,” she adds under her breath.
    “I won’t. Promise.”
    “Yesterday, you were sort of … sparkling.”
    I stifle a snort and roll my eyes instead. “ Sparkling ?”
    She bristles a little at the derision in my voice, and makes a flippant comment of her own. “Seriously. Y ou went all Edward Cullen on me.”
    “Edward Cullen?”
    “Twilight?” she asks. “Shiny vampires? Didn’t you see the movie or read the books?”
    I shake my head , at a complete loss. Human pop culture holds very little interest to me, much less