Rogues & Rascals in Goose Pimple Junction (Goose Pimple Junction Mysteries Book 4) Read Online Free Page B

gifted in the art of eating. How she eats Pop-Tarts, bread, and cookies without eating the wrappers is beyond me. Maybe she has opposable thumbs.”
    Jack grabbed his wife around the waist. “You’re so beautiful.”
    Her eyes gleamed. “Are you attempting to change the subject?”
    “What were we talking about? I can’t remember.” Jack started to kiss her.
    “We were talking about you taking me to lunch.”
    Jack wrapped his arms around his wife. “In a minute.”

Mama always said . . . When you’re getting kicked from behind, that means you’re in front.

L ouetta could have sworn the kid realized she had seen him shoplifting in her bookstore, A Blue Million Books. He looked right at her two seconds after he stuffed the book under his pink Ralph Lauren button-down shirt. She couldn’t believe it when he headed for the door with a blatant look of defiance.
    “Jimmy Dean Howe, you hold it right there.” Octogenarian Louetta barreled across the bookstore to the teenager who’d just opened the door. “Are you leaving?” She glared at him, her hands on her ample hips that were covered in a lime green dress. Every hair on her gray head was in place, and her makeup was just as loud as always. Her appearance was every bit as bright in color as her mind was sharp.
    “Yes, ma’am. I need to get home.” The boy stared at his feet. He was short, stocky, and had brown hair that looked like it hadn’t been combed in years. He’d opened the door and was halfway out. His expensive preppy clothes didn’t match his hairstyle at all. She supposed the look was what the youngins called the naturally tousled look. She thought it was the naturally ignorant look.
    “Yeah, well there are two things you gotta do first.”
    Jimmy Dean looked blankly at her. With the door open, she could see Officer Hank Beanblossom coming their way up the sidewalk.
    “First, you gotta give me that book you think you’re hiding in your pants.” She leaned out and called to Hank, “Officer Beanblossom, I’m in need of your assistance.” She looked back at the boy. “Then you gotta explain to this officer why you’re shoplifting in my store.”
    Officer Beanblossom stopped just outside the doorway, assuming a wide-leg stance with his arms folded across his chest. He resembled a bouncer. He peered over the top of his dark sunglasses. “Can you explain that, kid?”
    Instead of the fear Lou thought she would see in the boy’s face, Jimmy Dean’s air of feigned innocence also had a tinge of . . . of . . . was that glee?
    “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” The boy’s chin rose in the air, and a hint of a smile appeared on his lips.
    “What I’m talking about,” her voice got louder as she reached to pull up his shirttail, “what I’m talking about is thi s.” She yanked the book from under his belt.
    “But, Mizz Louetta, that book’s mine.”
    The dirty little ninny had the nerve to appear amused.
    “Oh it is, is it?” She was horrified to see the book was Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex But Were Afraid to Ask . She couldn’t remember the last time she had blushed, but she could feel her face growing hot. She knew she didn’t carry the book in her store, but she opened the cover just the same. Written inside was “Jimmy Dean Howe.”
    She looked from Hank, who was rubbing his forehead, eyes hidden, to Jimmy Dean, who had Don’t you feel stupid now? written all over his face.
    Hank broke the silence. “Uh . . . Lou . . . I don’t reckon . . . you still need me?”
    She handed the book back to Jimmy Dean, and with all the dignity she could muster, said, “No, Officer Beanblossom. I don’t reckon I do.”
    The kid actually had the nerve to say, “It’s all right, Mizz Louetta. I know you’re getting on in years. I won’t tell my dad about this.”
    Louetta was seldom at a loss for words, but all she could do was stare at him wide-mouthed like the fish she felt she was, having been hooked