Rainer: An MC Savage Motorcycle Club Romance Novel Read Online Free

of roaring engines outside. There wasn't any noise inside; no breathing or anything, so I hoped that meant I was alone. The car smelled like cigarette smoke with a hint of pine. I don’t know what triggered it, but I started sobbing. It began slowly at first, then without warning, I lost all control. I don’t believe I ever cried this hard, not even as a kid. I wasn’t even sure if these tears were from fear, sadness, or relief. It felt like a bit of everything, to be honest. Overwhelming yet liberating. I felt as though all the feelings I had suppressed inside of me for all these years had finally found its way out.

    When the vehicle door shut, I took a few deep breaths to calm down. I could still feel the cold breeze flowing past my face, and I could still hear the engines blaring from outside, so it was safe to assume the window was down. Aside from the blindfold, everything in that moment felt familiar to me, and familiarity was exactly what I needed.

    And just as I finally began to feel secure, another familiar sound from earlier brought me back to reality. The quick, sharp, strike of a match against the grain. Like metal scraping concrete, followed by a sizzle, that would ignite the flame.

    I could smell the strong scent of Rainer’s newly lit cigarette; I could still hear the loud pop from the engines around me; I could feel the night breeze against my skin; and I already accepted the darkness for what it was.

    This was how I wanted it to stay. A small sense of peace before they’d set me free. But the flickering light that seemed impossible to ignore still lingered through the cracks. It became clear that this was only a temporary moment of solace.

    I know that once the smoke takes on a different scent, and when his screams are all I hear — I know I’ll never be the same again. And when the heat overpowers the cold night air, and when orange becomes the new black — I’ll wish not one, but all my senses could disappear.

----

CHAPTER TWO

    Candace

    You’re still alive because you told the truth.

    Written on wrinkled paper, folded neatly around my license. The first thing I saw when I went to check if they stole any money from my purse. And to my surprise, they didn’t.

    I read the note over and over trying my best to decipher it in any way, believing it meant something more. I wondered if there was some deeper subliminal message to it — like, maybe it was congratulatory, or maybe it was a threat. After a while, I came to the conclusion that the note probably didn’t have some kind of hidden agenda. The words didn’t carry any significant meaning, either. No, it was what it was: bare, unedited, and straight to the point.

    Honesty was something I always practice, just not so much with myself. I knew who I was, and how I felt most of the time — or at least I thought I did. With time, I’ve learned to fake my emotions for the convenience of others. I was used to pretending that everything was all right. The time I spent blindfolded in that chair was probably the most honest I’d ever been with myself in years.  

    I didn’t leave my apartment for three days after the incident. To my own surprise, it wasn’t out of fear. For some reason I wasn’t worried that they’d come back for me. I guess the way Rainer treated me before dropping me off at that bus station gave me some form of comfort, but then again I do have the tendency to trust people too easily. I spent those three days reevaluating myself as a person. Was I being true to myself or have I been living a lie this whole time? Questions like this ran through my mind without any clear resolve. There was a longing I yearned for, and I couldn’t figure out what it was for the longest time.

    I spent most of those three days lying in bed staring at the dark ceiling like a traveler with jet lag. I was looking for answers while trying to figure myself out. The only times I got up was to grab some water or use the bathroom. My apatite and