it meant I could have stayed on the team. They couldn’t do anything worse.
“What’s more,” Coach continued. “I plan on calling Coach Steven’s at the university and letting him know what has happened. I’m pretty sure you can kiss that scholarship goodbye.”
I swear to god he sounded like a little kid.
Well there it was, the final whistle, game over. I’d been waiting for it ever since I threw that first punch the day before. My one way out, my one dream, gone. Just like that.
I felt a new loss, one more thing piling onto all the losses. This was different. Losing that scholarship was letting my dead parents down. They’d met and gotten married while at the University of Nebraska. Both of them would light up like roman candles whenever they talked about their time there. They’d shoot each other a secret glance and smile at some shared memory.
I wanted to go to Nebraska so bad it hurt. I wanted to start for their football team. I wanted to be what Keith Jackson had famously dubbed “A Big Ugly up front.” Hell, secretly I wanted to parlay that into a pro football career. I know I might be stretching it a little, a guy could dream couldn’t he? Or at least I could until I threw that first punch.
An empty, hollow dullness descended over me. It felt like a hole had opened inside of me, sucking my soul into a giant chasm. My mind searched for an out, anything. But there wasn’t a thing I could do about it.
My grandfather stood and threw Coach Carlson a nasty look. I thought he wanted to say something. He hesitated, then shook his head. “If that’s it, we’ll be going,” he said as he turned and walked out the door. I looked at Turner and Coach before I jumped up to follow the old man out.
Battle Ax Betty looked like she was going to swallow her tongue. I’m sure Turner would fill her in later. I caught up with Grandfather at the front door and followed him out to his truck parked at the front of the building. I didn’t know what I was supposed to do now. My thoughts were tumbling around like a clown in a barrel.
“You don’t got to tell me, but, I’ve got to admit I am dying of curiosity,” Grandfather said. “I mean, it’s not like you and Danny to get into it like this.”
He’d caught me flat footed. I hadn’t thought this through, or at least not to a way that made any sense. How could I tell him that I had lost control? Especially about something like this. A chill traveled up and down my spine when I thought about saying the words.
The birds were chirping and I could taste potential rain. I realized I was stalling. The old man stood there with his hands behind his back patiently waiting.
I took a deep breath and told him everything. About how I found them. About how Gina had never wanted to do anything more that kiss, and how she hadn’t even seemed to like that. When I finished I hung my head and stared at the ground. The deafening silence eating into my soul.
We reached his truck and he suddenly halted before he glanced at the sky. He did that before he made any decisions. I used to think he searched for god’s guidance. It took me a few years to realize that he instinctively looked at the weather. No farmer ever made a decision without checking the weather. Our lives revolved around it.
His gnarled hand came into my vision. He stood there waiting for me to shake it. I reached out and grasped it. My heart lodged in my throat when I realized that mine was as big as his. We squeezed and he stared into my eyes. “Your dad would have been proud” was all he said. Not that he was proud, not that he felt my pain.
Hey, I’ll take it. One of my most important rules is – Any approval from Grandfather was the equivalent of winning the Heisman and an Oscar on the same day.
Chapter Two
Katie
Whoever said high school wasn’t fair, didn’t know the half of it. High school ranks right up there with ‘life’ in its unfairness. It’s one of those rules that no