Primperfect Read Online Free Page A

then, if only to complain about how unfair the situation was. I am a bit Machiavellian sometimes. Which is probably a good thing because I quoted him in my history paper.

I think I might be in love with Fintan. Either that or I really want to sleep with him some more. Definitely one or the other.
    Quote from Prim’s mum’s diary
    MESSAGE TO KAREN draft 92
    Dear Karen
    I was wrong to do what I did. And I am very sorry that I did it. Please tell Joel you forgive me so he will be my friend again.
    Prim
    private-messaged Karen this and when I went back to see if she’d replied I realised she had blocked me. She must have blocked me as soon as she read it. I’m so angry I could punch her in the face. Again. Oh, God, that really does make me sound like a bully, doesn’t it? Even though it was almost three years ago and I was defending Ella and it didn’t really hurt Karen at all.
    I can throw a really good punch now, though. I could probably do some real damage after all those kick-boxing lessons I took last term on the advice of my therapist. I kind of like the way Caroline gives me head-fixing homework. Like – I go to kick-boxing because endorphins will make me happier and punching and kicking will be a violent thing I can do that does not harm me or anyone else. Not that I’ve ever harmed anyone. Except my own hand when I made a complete hames of punching Karen.

    Like the way people think about someone else’s unopened box of chocolates in their fridge. Like I shouldn’t but I kind of really want to. What is it about being blocked on a social networking site that’s so IRRITATING? I’m surprised Joel hasn’t blocked me yet. He did un-friend me though. Which hurt a lot. Because I felt, like, he can’t just un-friend me – we’ve been friends since we were four years old. That is, like, three-quarters of our lives. It seems really dramatic. (Although my life does tend to swing that way, what with the cemetery break-ins and the self-harming and the manslaughtered mum.)
    I love my friends, though. I don’t see how you can just cut someone out of your life (except for Kevin, whom I probably should, from a kissing point of view at least). I am a nice person and he knows full well that I’m not homophobic. I’ve helped him through so many things around his sexual identity and him being OK with it and other people being OK with it and other people not being OK with it because they are stupid and wrong. Dad took him for post coming-out-related-drama

    for God’s sake.
    Crepes are the most supportive food there is, next to toffee-pops. Joel is good at being angry and mean, but even if he was the kind of angry that involves yelling at me, I could win him around. I know I could. I’m very good at being friends with Joel. But he has never not talked to me before. I’ve always been the one who didn’t talk to him. I don’t like this shift in the balance of friend-power. It makes me feel like things might actually be over for us. And that doesn’t bear thinking about and leads to over-analytical thought spirals where I try to rewrite the past by regretting it and am no good to anyone.
    I think getting with Kevin was a big mistake, friendshipwise. Friends shouldn’t kiss other friends’ crushes, even if there is no actual way that the friend with the crush could get with his or her crush and the friend who is supposed to get away is feeling vulnerable and also a little bit tempted to keep kissing the first ever boy to show any sexual interest in her in the hopes of getting an actual boyfriend. I really wanted Kevin to be my first boyfriend. I wanted him to like me as much as Syzmon likes Ciara and to want to do stuff with me that we both enjoyed. Sadly, he is a teenage boy. (I know Syzmon is as well, but he doesn’t really count because I suspect Ciara and he are mutants whose super power is happy-ever-after-getting and monogamy.)