Planet Janet in Orbit Read Online Free Page B

wouldn’t know where her only brother is. I said so long as he’s not near me, I don’t really care. Apparently he’s in Mexico. I said that was what I said: How does he like South America? Sigmund said Mexico isn’t IN South America. I said what did they do, move it? It’s SOUTH OF THE BORDER , isn’t it? The MC said maybe I should’ve done a GCSE in geography after all. I asked her if she was aware that drinking made her particularly unfunny. Vacated the premises IMMEDIATELY , of course. Looked Mexico up in my atlas. Unless the lads at
The Times
made a mistake, it looks as though Mexico isn’t in South America, after all – even though they do speak Spanish.
    I knew the truce couldn’t last. They got into one of their screaming bouts and Sigmund left, slamming the door. He didn’t even bother saying goodbye to me, although I went all the way to Kilburn to see him yesterday (on the bus!!!). When I came out in search of sustenance, the MC told me what the fight was about (even though I hadn’t actually asked). Apparently she wanted some money from him and he said he didn’t have any, so she reminded him that he’d just given me a small fortune and he denied it. The MC says you can trust a thief but never a liar. I said that since Sigmund’s reputation as a liar has been pretty well established, she couldn’t say she hadn’t been warned.

TUESDAY 24 JULY
    Ethan said he really envies my brother. I said you mean because he’s related to me? And he laughed and Gave Me a Hug !!! It was THE MOST AMAZING FEELING I’ve ever experienced! A trillion stars exploded in my heart! ELECTRICITY flowed through every cell in my body (I’m certain I was GLOWING , but there isn’t a mirror in the Staff Cupboard, of course, so I couldn’t check). Now I know what people mean when they say they could Die Happy ! I wanted him to Hug Me For Ever !!! I was so swept away by Passion that I sort of bounced off the wall when he let go, but I don’t think he noticed since he was still all wound up in Mexico. He wanted to know how long Geek Boy’s going to be away, and I said I reckoned he’d come back when he ran out of poor people to photograph. Ethan said he could be there YEARS in that case. Which is the best news I’ve had in months.
    Nan came over tonight. You’d think a person’s mother would be on
his
side when his marriage breaks up, but not Nan. She says the day Sigmund moved out of hers was the happiest she’d been since D-Day. She says she thanks God every night for finally finding Sigmund a place to live. He was driving her nuts. She said she doesn’t know how the Mad Cow put up with him for so long.

WEDNESDAY 25 JULY
    D met me after work today so she could get a look at Ethan. Ethan got to his feet the instant we stepped through the Cupboard door (he’s not just another Astoundingly Beautiful face – he’s a GENTLEMAN as well, which makes a pleasant change from the teenage Neanderthals we normally associate with). We didn’t have much chance for a chat, though, because Sky barged in, and the Cupboard wasn’t big enough for the six of us (me, Disha, Ethan, Sky and Sky’s anatomy). Went home with Disha to discuss the situation. D was TOTALLY bowled over by Ethan. She wanted to know if I was CERTAIN he doesn’t have a girlfriend, since it’s hard to believe someone hasn’t snapped him up. I said he hasn’t been in London that long. And anyway, he’s obviously DISCRIMINATING and wouldn’t date someone just because her breasts are the size of a life-jacket. D says if he doesn’t ask me out soon, I should ask him. I said I’m still a bit traumatized from my experience with Elvin. D thinks I’m overreacting. She said that not only does Ethan not know my brother, but my brother’s in Mexico, so Ethan can’t be flirting with me because he wants to meet Justin. I said that was true, but being older and wiser does make one cautious. D doesn’t think that’s true. She says all being older and wiser means