Phobia Read Online Free

termination in my near future. I dreaded the humiliation of being fired, then having to clean out my desk amid all the gossipy whispers of the office staff. I made the decision to quit before he had the chance to fire me, then I could pretend I’d had a lucrative offer from another firm. Another lie, but at least I would be leaving on my terms.
    It was for that reason I found myself in the path of an out-of-control vehicle on a rain-drenched highway that morning. If only I’d listened to my gut instinct that day – I hadn’t felt like leaving the house at all. I shrugged off the feeling of impending doom and gathered the courage to face my workplace one last time. Just one more time and then I’d be free, I’d told myself.
    And now, it seemed, I was free. Free from that life, but now what?
    What was I to do with my newly found freedom?
     
    ~*~
     

 
    ~ 5 ~
Down the Rabbit Hole
     
     
    I’d always enjoyed my solitude, but since I’d been home from the hospital the house felt different. The silence that I usually found comforting now felt thick and heavy. For the first time since I quit drinking, I felt truly alone.
    I didn’t need to find another job. I had plenty of money in the bank – one who didn’t travel or entertain didn’t have much in the way of expenses. As long as I could order the things I needed, I could survive in comfort for at least a year while building my online business. I wasn’t yet sure what type of business I wanted to start, but I had plenty of time to think and research. In the meantime, I told myself, I should be enjoying the peace and be grateful to be alive and relatively unscathed after such a devastating crash.
    The Internet was my usual source of entertainment, but my service hadn’t been working properly since I’d been home. I couldn’t connect to anything except email, but there was never anything new. I tried to call my Internet provider, but there was no answer, just like at my office. My phone didn’t seem to be working properly either. Sometimes I heard a dial tone when I picked up the receiver, other times I was greeted with the sound of a ringing phone, even though I hadn’t dialed yet. My cell phone had been in my car when the accident happened, so it was either lost or smashed beyond repair. In order to get a replacement, I’d have to either leave the house or get my land line working. I tried not to panic at the thought of being cut off from the outside world. I relied on my communications systems for everything. I couldn’t even order a grocery delivery without a phone or Internet.
    I checked the pantry and fridge. They were still full. I hadn’t had much appetite since my return home. When had I last eaten? And what had I eaten? I couldn’t remember.
    The house smelled like disinfectant, as if it had been cleaned recently, but I couldn’t remember doing any cleaning. The house looked spotless, so I must have cleaned it. I knew I’d been doing a lot of sleeping and very little eating, so I hadn’t had much chance to make a mess.
    The memory loss troubled me. Why couldn’t I remember cleaning the house? Why couldn’t I remember my hospital stay, or being released?
    How did I get home?
    My car was totaled so I knew I hadn’t driven. If someone else had driven me, why hadn’t they checked on me to see how I was doing?
    I pushed the thoughts away.
    Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth, Dana.
    I finally had what I wanted, so why question it? The logical thing to do was enjoy it.
    The days blended into weeks… at least I thought they did. My perception of time seemed distorted, so I was only guessing. The calendar on my laptop wouldn’t give me an honest answer; it always read the same date: May 21 st – the day of the accident. All of the calendars in my home were turned to May as well. I spent a lot of time sleeping, as far as I could tell, and it was always dark outside when I woke.
    I hadn’t taken any of my medications since I’d been home out of