Pegasus: A Novel Read Online Free

tenants, had originally
     been our serfs, which my father found particularly unamusing. I insisted I was in
     love with her, and perhaps I was. I’m not sure that anyone knows what love is at that
     age, or what can happen as a result, all the ramifications and consequences and things
     that can go wrong. When she told me she was pregnant, I did what I thought was the
     right thing and married her in a small ceremony in the chapel on the estate, in utter
     disgrace with my parents. My father struck an agreement with hers. No one was ever
     to know that I had married her, and we agreed that when she gave birth to you, we
     would be divorced immediately afterward. My father was able to arrange it with an
     attorney in Munich. And she agreed to give up the child when it was born, which was
     part of the contract my father made with them.
    “I went abroad for a year, to Spain and Italy. I had an extremely good time, although
     I felt bad about her. We were divorced as soon as you were born, as she had agreed,
     and they left the farm. She and her parents and brothers and sisters went back to
     the city, and my father bought the farm from their cousins for a very handsome price.
     After two hundred years on our land, they felt disgraced by what had happened and
     wanted to leave. I eventually returned from my travels, having allegedly married a
     young countess in Italy, who supposedly gave birth to you and died in childbed of
     a fever, which was common at the time. No one ever questioned the story when you appeared
     with me on my return, and everyone felt sorry for me. To be widowed so young and have
     a child on my hands. Your grandmother helped me take care of you, and no one ever
     knew the truth, except my parents, your mother and her family who were gone, the priest
     who married us, and the nurse who took care of you. And no one ever talked. I never
     saw your mother again, which was a dastardly thing to do. But I barely knew her, and
     you were the result of youthful lust, a brief summer fling.
    “And the only real love I felt was for you. I fell in love with you the moment I saw
     you, and I never regretted having you for an instant. In fact, I think it turned me
     responsible early on, which was probably a good thing, since my own parents died when
     I was still relatively young, and I had to learn everything you’ve resisted learning
     all your life. I had no choice. I had a child, and a large estate to run, and I have
     done so for you, so that I can turn it all over to you in good order one day.”
    He looked bleak as he said it, and Nick could see that his father’s confession was
     weighing heavy on his heart. What he didn’t know was why he had chosen to tell him
     about his history now. Nick was trying to sort through what his father had said and
     what it meant tohim. What shocked him most was hearing that the mother who Nick had always believed
     had died in childbirth, actually hadn’t. And she wasn’t an Italian noblewoman, she
     was a young girl on one of their farms, the daughter of a farmer or their city cousin,
     but the impact of that hadn’t hit him yet. Nick was more shocked to realize that his
     mother was probably still alive, particularly since she’d been so young when he was
     born.
    “Are you telling me that my mother is still alive, and always was? Why are you announcing
     that to me now, Father?”
    “Because you have to know. I had no other choice now but to tell you. And I don’t
     know if she’s still alive. I assume she is. She was told never to contact us again,
     and she hasn’t. She was a decent girl, and she kept her word. I have no idea where
     they moved to, but I’m sure we could find out. I imagine she’s still alive, she’d
     only be fifty-nine now, which isn’t very old. And I’m very sorry to tell you all this.
     I never intended to tell you any of it.”
    He had even covered his tracks by saying that her family had blamed him for her death
     when she died and