Patrice Lyle - Health Nut 01 - Killer Kung Pao Read Online Free

psychic had kicked us out.
    I wondered if psychics had a black list. If so, I bet Aunt Alfa had a long write-up. Maybe even a mug shot.
    "Séances are my specialty," Babette said. "Ever since my first husband, Luther, passed away, I've been able to reach the other side with great ease."
    "I'm sorry for your loss."
    "Thank you," Babette said as she adjusted her feathered headpiece. "But I'm past my grieving now."
    "That's good." I handed her a pink glittery brochure about my Health Nuts Rock…Pop out of Your Shell wellness clinic. "I'm Dr. Piper Meadows."
    "What a charming motto," she gushed.
    "Thanks. I want to change the image of health nuts so we're not laughing stocks and can help people get healthy without getting too crazy."
    "That's a wonderful mission." She paused. "Care if I ask you a health question? Just a quick one?"
    "Please do. I'd love it."
    "Do you recommend pork?"
    I inwardly cringed, thinking of Brownie. But that was my issue. "Pork's hard to digest so I don't recommend it daily, but I don't boycott it."
    "You'll have to tell that to a certain rude whack-job here."
    "Who?" Was she referring to Mystic Ming?
    "This crazy blonde vegan who's dating Mystic Ming verbally assaulted my husband last year for bringing in a barbequed pork burrito for lunch."
    Vegan and blonde? Dating Mystic Ming? Wait a minute. "Are you talking about Vesta?"
    "You met her already?"
    "Yeah, just a few minutes ago."
    "Did she offer you a discounted reading? She does that to everyone to act friendly."
    Some long lost Sparkle O sister she is.
    "I have another health question," Babette said. "If you don't mind."
    I lifted my palms. "Not at all."
    "My second husband, Normy, has memory problems. He's obviously forgotten that I want to lose weight because he's hounding me about taking a pizza cruise this fall."
    Sounded like Norman just wanted to pig out. "Is he drinking enough water? Dehydration can cause memory problems."
    "Does a gallon of soda a day count?"
    I cringed. "Not really. He might feel better if he were more hydrated. Electrolyte water sometimes helps."
    She nodded. "I've seen that electrolyte stuff at the store. I'll buy some because if he mentions that darn pizza cruise one more time, I'm going to lose it."
    "The water will make a big difference, trust me."
    "Thank you, Dr. Piper." Babette eyed me up and down. "My spirit guide's telling me strongly that I need to give you a reading in return for your health advice."
    Oh, no. That was the last thing I wanted. Before I could thank her for the generous offer and politely decline, she grasped my hands. Her eyes pressed shut as she tilted her head back.
    "I'm getting a strong sense of men trouble in your life." Her eyelids fluttered. "Yes, men trouble. Your relationship's rocky. I see an image of a door closing. No, wait." She rolled her neck side to side, causing the feather headpiece to wobble slightly. "The door's slamming. The man you're currently with, he's not what you want. He's not the one."
    A stab of discomfort hit me as a million thoughts raced through my mind. The biggest one being the stupid stye worry. Should I ask about that? I knew it sounded weird, but I'm sure psychics heard it all.
    "If I were to end this relationship," I said carefully. "Do you see any sort of vision problems as a result? Perhaps…a stye?"
    Her eyes popped open. "A what?"
    "A stye. It looks like a wart on the eyelid."
    "I'll be honest, Dr. Piper. Medical prophecy's not my strength. All I see is that your current relationship's not going to last."
    "How much longer?"
    "I don't know for sure, but not very long." Babette gave my hands a final squeeze before she released them. "And you're going to get a phone call soon."
    I wanted to groan. Psychics seemed to frequently predict phone calls, as well as upcoming trips. Both events were highly probable for a multitude of reasons, but I wasn't going to bring that up. The proper thing to do was thank Babette. Before I could relay my sentiment of