Outlive (The Baggers Trilogy, #1) Read Online Free

He was surprised by how badly his arm smelled. The skin was pale, wrinkled, and his arm had shrunk slightly from not being used. His arm slipped out of the cast and he held it up to the light to examine it.
    Tessa, who was standing behind Mr. Krass, bit her lip.
    Baggs wiggled his fingers back and forth, standing up simultaneously.
    “How does eet feel, Meester Baggers?”
    “Good, doc. You did really well.”
    “You can move it, daddy?” Maggie asked.
    “Oh, yeah.”
    “Where are you going?” asked Tessa. Baggs had moved towards the door.
    “I’ve got to go to Greggor’s. I want to see if I can play.”
    “Do you think you can?”
    “Oh, yeah. My hand feels great. Sorry to rush out, Mr. Krass. See you tonight, Tessa. Girls.”
    “Bye, daddy,” Maggie and Olive said in unison.
    “Baggs, wait just a…” came Tessa’s voice, but Baggs didn’t wait to hear what she was going to say. He shut the door as though he hadn’t heard her and threw open the door to the stairwe ll. He was out of shape, but he ran up multiple flights of stairs until he came to the roof of Apartment Building 5160. He went out, shut the door behind him, and slid to a seated position with his back against the door.
    He didn’t mean to be rude to Tessa in leaving so abruptly, but he felt he had to get out of there. He didn’t want to scream in front of his children.
    Now, sitting alone and examining his hand, he didn’t scream, but instead began to hyperventilate.
    “I’m done. I’m done. We’re done.” He whispered to himself.
    The harsh light from the sun above did not flatter Baggs’s pale left hand. His suspicion had been right; Mr. Krass had not properly set the radius back into place. The misplaced bone stretched the skin on the underside of his forearm. He could indeed wiggle all of his fingers, but for some mechanical reason or another, the range of motion of his left thumb and pointer finger was limited to tiny back and forth motions.
    I will not be able to play piano at the required standard.
    Tessa, Maggie and Olive will starve. We will be like the McKesson family. Maybe they’ll shoot us too. Maybe they’ll kill my girls on the street before I die. Maybe I’ll hear their screams. Or maybe the bullets will go through their heads and there won’t be much hollering.
    “NO!” Baggs shouted. A crow took flight off the roof.
    Baggs panted for a moment, sweat running down his face. He supposed that he should at least try to play piano before thinking that all hope for his family was lost.
    Not all hope is lost—there’s always Outlive.
    Baggs shuddered. He tried to move the thumb on his left hand in small circles. The task was impossible.
    Maybe I can still play. I w on’t know until I try.
    He stood up on trembling knees and walked over to the side of the roof. He took the fire escape down the side of the building and walked the back way, down the stinking alley and towards t he suburbs that stood between his apartment and Greggor’s shop. As he walked, his hands were shaking so badly that it took him a long time to light his cigarette.
     
     
     
    2
     
                  Baggs walked through London. After ten minutes of walking, he had calmed down some. There was a cool breeze blowing through the streets. He lit another cigarette; this time his hands weren’t shaking as much, and so it was easier to light.
                  Smoking two cigarettes in a row was odd for Baggs, but he was remarkably stressed, and felt that the cigarettes were necessary. He knew that he would be upset later for not spacing his smokes out more, but didn’t really care.
                  If I enter Outlive, I won’t have to worry about cigarette rationing anymore. Corpses don’t care much for nicotine.
                  SHUT UP!
                  These thoughts made his hands tremble again. He knew that if he entered Outlive he would have a better shot at making it than most people,