Ornamental Danger: a holiday short story (Working Stiff Mysteries) Read Online Free
Author: Kerri Nelson
you that this second job is just temporary. I'll be done with it in a few more days. Remember? I took it so that I could make a little more money to buy you some nice things for Christmas. I just don't make enough at the wrecker company."
She lifted up the corner of her mouth with an inkling of a smile. "Do you think I can get a real tiara?"
I laughed. "We'll just have to see, won't we?"
She gave me a quick hug and then ran ahead to Ms. Lanier's screen door and entered the house without knocking. I followed suit—totally unprepared for what I would find on the other side of the door.
* * *
"What is all this?" I stared at the kitchen table covered end to end with a full blown holiday meal. There was steaming roast beef covered in potatoes, carrots, and onions. There was corn on the cob and green bean casserole. There was a pumpkin pie, a pecan pie, and a Chess cake. I was in hog heaven, but I was afraid. Very afraid.
"This is great. I'm starved," Paget said in a sing-song voice and then started loading up a plate, moving down the table in serving line fashion.
"Ms. Lanier, you're not bribing me, are you?" The thought entered my mind and zipped out of my mouth before I could stop myself.
"Who? Me?" She touched her chest with a small, wrinkled hand and looked aghast.
A "tsk-tsk" sound erupted from the living room, and I turned to see my aunt's oldest and most stylish friend, Ms. Maimie Rogers, standing next to a gigantic white, dry erase board.
"Mandy, don't be silly. She's not trying to win your vote for the decorating competition—we decided to stop competing the year that Verna Strength won her third consecutive trophy and we discovered that she'd been sleeping with the church commissioner. There is just no competing with that kind of bribery. Have you seen the commish?"
A small gagging sound erupted from Ms. Lanier's throat, but I couldn't take my eyes off the large board with hand written names that were incidentally the exact names of the people who'd just been gracing my front porch with gifts and foods over the last couple of hours.
"But what is all this about? Why are all these people written on this board, and what are ya'll up to?"
Ms. Lanier popped my backside with her rolled up kitchen towel, and I jumped.
"Get in there and fix a plate, Mandy. We've got to get through this list tonight, and we've got no time to waste. The displays start tomorrow, and your judging forms are due in by tomorrow night."
My stomach grumbled at the mention of eating. That tiny snack of a BLT sandwich was long gone by now, and Ms. Lanier knew that there was only one way to truly get me moving, and that was through a truly great home cooked meal.
I did as she instructed but still wasn't quite sure what these two had planned.
"Are you going to help me judge the houses? And why is this enormous board set up?" I asked as I snagged a puffy yeast roll and slathered it with butter.
I didn't miss the exchange of eye contact between the two. I stopped and watched them. They were definitely up to something. I just couldn't quite figure it out.
"Might as well tell her, Maimie."
Ms. Maimie nodded and then slipped on her cat-eye shaped reading glasses and began reading the names off the list.
"The three that I believe we really have to focus on are Jenson Davies, Parker Caldwell, and Coach Mulder, but we can't rule out any of these others just yet."
I envisioned my temporary boss Coach Mulder and could almost hear his spitting sound as he sent yet another stream of disgusting tobacco juice to the ground in his wake. I grimaced at the image. It was almost enough to put me off my appetite. Almost .
I took a huge bite of corn on the cob and then licked the excess butter off my lips. "So are those the folks who have the best lights to look at?"
Ms. Lanier let out a bark of laughter. "Honey, those are the three who wanted Verna Strength dead."
CHAPTER FIVE
"If excuses were gooses, we'd all have a Merry Christmas."
She lifted up the corner of her mouth with an inkling of a smile. "Do you think I can get a real tiara?"
I laughed. "We'll just have to see, won't we?"
She gave me a quick hug and then ran ahead to Ms. Lanier's screen door and entered the house without knocking. I followed suit—totally unprepared for what I would find on the other side of the door.
* * *
"What is all this?" I stared at the kitchen table covered end to end with a full blown holiday meal. There was steaming roast beef covered in potatoes, carrots, and onions. There was corn on the cob and green bean casserole. There was a pumpkin pie, a pecan pie, and a Chess cake. I was in hog heaven, but I was afraid. Very afraid.
"This is great. I'm starved," Paget said in a sing-song voice and then started loading up a plate, moving down the table in serving line fashion.
"Ms. Lanier, you're not bribing me, are you?" The thought entered my mind and zipped out of my mouth before I could stop myself.
"Who? Me?" She touched her chest with a small, wrinkled hand and looked aghast.
A "tsk-tsk" sound erupted from the living room, and I turned to see my aunt's oldest and most stylish friend, Ms. Maimie Rogers, standing next to a gigantic white, dry erase board.
"Mandy, don't be silly. She's not trying to win your vote for the decorating competition—we decided to stop competing the year that Verna Strength won her third consecutive trophy and we discovered that she'd been sleeping with the church commissioner. There is just no competing with that kind of bribery. Have you seen the commish?"
A small gagging sound erupted from Ms. Lanier's throat, but I couldn't take my eyes off the large board with hand written names that were incidentally the exact names of the people who'd just been gracing my front porch with gifts and foods over the last couple of hours.
"But what is all this about? Why are all these people written on this board, and what are ya'll up to?"
Ms. Lanier popped my backside with her rolled up kitchen towel, and I jumped.
"Get in there and fix a plate, Mandy. We've got to get through this list tonight, and we've got no time to waste. The displays start tomorrow, and your judging forms are due in by tomorrow night."
My stomach grumbled at the mention of eating. That tiny snack of a BLT sandwich was long gone by now, and Ms. Lanier knew that there was only one way to truly get me moving, and that was through a truly great home cooked meal.
I did as she instructed but still wasn't quite sure what these two had planned.
"Are you going to help me judge the houses? And why is this enormous board set up?" I asked as I snagged a puffy yeast roll and slathered it with butter.
I didn't miss the exchange of eye contact between the two. I stopped and watched them. They were definitely up to something. I just couldn't quite figure it out.
"Might as well tell her, Maimie."
Ms. Maimie nodded and then slipped on her cat-eye shaped reading glasses and began reading the names off the list.
"The three that I believe we really have to focus on are Jenson Davies, Parker Caldwell, and Coach Mulder, but we can't rule out any of these others just yet."
I envisioned my temporary boss Coach Mulder and could almost hear his spitting sound as he sent yet another stream of disgusting tobacco juice to the ground in his wake. I grimaced at the image. It was almost enough to put me off my appetite. Almost .
I took a huge bite of corn on the cob and then licked the excess butter off my lips. "So are those the folks who have the best lights to look at?"
Ms. Lanier let out a bark of laughter. "Honey, those are the three who wanted Verna Strength dead."
CHAPTER FIVE
"If excuses were gooses, we'd all have a Merry Christmas."
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