risks are pretty irrelevant right now,â I said, and lit us both up, noticing that my supply was coming to an end. Iâd only brought a single pack, as lately Iâd cut my intake down to eight a day, but now that there were only four left, I wished Iâd brought more, even though they wouldnât survive the drenching in the sea we were planning for a few hoursâ time.
âIâm so sorry to hear about what happened to your daughter,â he said, and I could tell from the expression in his eyes that he meant it. That was the thing about Crispin. There was a real kindness about him, and it made me wonder how I could ever have suspected his involvement in this.
I sighed. âIt was the most horrible thing thatâs ever happened to me in my whole life. Including this, believe it or not. At the time I genuinely didnât think I could get through it. I just wanted to die. And I felt like that for a long time afterwards, but the thing is, you do get through it. You survive, and you carry on.â
âIâm sorry about Marla and Luke earlier, too. You know, the fact they didnât believe you about Charlie. I know you were telling the truth.â
âIs that because you saw what was outside the window?â
He frowned. âYou looked?â
I nodded.
âSo you saw the heads. Iâm glad you didnât say anything to the others. I donât think Marla especially can handle much more of this.â He drew on the cigarette, blowing smoke towards the ceiling. âItâs funny, isnât it? When we were at uni, I always felt that Luke and Marla were the strong ones. And now look at us.â
âYouâre strong, Crispin. I donât know about me.â
âJesus, Karen, youâve survived everything that lifeâs thrown at you, including being the one to discover the murdered bodies of two of your friends in the last twenty-four hours, and youâre still keeping your head. You, my girl, are a strong woman.â
He smiled at me then and, even in the midst of this nightmare, I felt a warm glow.
I took his hand, gripping it hard, and I think I would have tried to kiss him but I saw his smile fade a little at the prospect. Whatever I might have liked to think, Crispin was Marlaâs man.
I removed my hand and took a sip from the rapidly cooling tea. âSo, how did you and Marla meet up again?â
I could tell he wasnât keen to talk about it but I wasnât going to let him off the hook that easily now that I had him alone. I needed to know.
âIt was pure coincidence really. I was at a bar in the West End â I canât even remember which one now â with some mates, and Marla walked in with a bunch of her friends. We spotted each other, got talking and stayed in touch afterwards.â
âHow long ago was that?â
He looked at me sadly. âA long time. Maybe fifteen years.â
I worked hard to suppress the hurt. âAnd youâve kept in contact ever since?â
âNo.â He paused for a moment, presumably wondering how much to tell me. âIâll be honest. We hit it off and, even though we were both in relationships, we started seeing each other. I finished with the girl I was with but Marla was married at the time, so it was harder for her.â
âYou had an affair.â
âDonât judge, Karen. Iâm not that kind of man, you know that, but things⦠things just went out of control, like they did with you and Charlie. Eventually, after about a year, Marla left her husband and we moved in together.â
He waited for me to say something. But I didnât. I let him talk.
âWe lived together for about a year. It might even have been longer. We were going to get married, too, once her divorce came through, but I suppose it wasnât meant to be because things didnât work out and we finally split up. We stayed friends, but I moved to France after that so we