Offside (Pro-U Book 2) Read Online Free
Author: Ali Parker
two-ton shed barreling down the field. It wasn't happening - ever. He was from Texas and liked biscuits and gravy a little too much.
"Fuck you, Smith." I picked up the hose and handed it off to another one of the guys. "Go gather everyone up so I can lay down the rules one time today. If anyone breaks them... you're out of the house for a month."
"And where exactly would you expect us to live?" Smith again. Always fucking Smith.
"In your momma’s car, Smith. I don't give three shits where you stay. Listen to the rules and keep up. You fuck up, and you're out. Period." I turned as Micah sauntered up. "You remembered to invite the Ice House? You always seem to leave them out."
He nodded. "Yeah. Those fuckers always bring drugs. That's why I leave them out."
"It's just pot. Stop being a pussy." I walked around him and moved to the middle of the yard as the rest of the frat walked down the back stairs. "Gather up, bitches. Party starts in forty-five minutes."
Everyone moved toward me with a gleam in their eye that lit a fire deep inside of me. I loved Omega’s end of the year party. It was one of the best nights of the year, but remembering more than the beginning of it was always a feat in itself. The beer flowed freely and the girls were nasty as shit. It was bliss.
"Three rules. You know these if you've been in the house for more than a day, but let's repeat them for the idiots who can't remember their last name, much less the house rules. Anyone wanna tell me numero uno?" I glanced around as several hands shot up.
"Don't bareback a pussy," one of the guys yelled from the back.
"Exactly. I'm sure all of you have heard about the situation over at the Ice House. Our buddy Geoff decided that sleeping with one of the hookers that hang around their place was far too important and decided to dance in the rain without his rain coat. Anyone know what happened?"
"Bitch got pregnant."
"Exactly." I tilted my head to the side. "Anyone here wanna raise kids while trying to make it through classes and hold down a job at the local grocery store? You guys ready to provide for a bitchy wife and a snotty-nose kid?" I was overdoing it, but it was college... why the hell not.
"No!" they all yelled in tandem.
"For the record, he was wearing a rubber and it tore, so how about you just not fuck anyone until you're in a long-term, committed relationship?" Micah glanced around as the crowd fell silent.
"Moving on." I rolled my eyes and lifted two fingers in the air. "Rule number two. Who knows it?"
"Don't toke if you're on a team."
"Exactly. There will be weed and probably several other low-class drugs running around the crowd tonight. Be smart. You get popped for being stupid, your scholarship and your dreams of grandeur are going to go up in flames. Don't be an idiot. Drink and fuck, but leave the smoking and toking to the losers without purpose. Yes?"
"Yeah!" they all yelled, though half of them were said losers.
"Last rule?" I glanced around with a smile on my face.
"You break it, you buy it, you bake it, you take it."
"Righto again. You guys are fucking geniuses." I winked as they chuckled. "If you fuck something up in the house, we'll all bring you out here tomorrow morning when you feel like hammered shit, and we'll beat your ass until you can't walk. Then you'll pay for whatever you destroyed, because we like our stuff. In that same vein, if you bring a bitch into my house tonight and she gets sick or sluts herself out, she's still your responsibility. Clean up the mess she makes and take her ass out. No one left by nine tomorrow morning. Got it?"
Mumbling. Everyone hated the last rule the most. Who wanted to take responsibility for a series of mistakes made in a drunken haze? Not me. Certainly not them.
"Good. Get busy and make this place look amazing. String the rest of the lights and get everything iced down. We go live in thirty minutes." I waved my hands in the air. "Get the fuck to it. Shit."
"I'm not sure how we
"Fuck you, Smith." I picked up the hose and handed it off to another one of the guys. "Go gather everyone up so I can lay down the rules one time today. If anyone breaks them... you're out of the house for a month."
"And where exactly would you expect us to live?" Smith again. Always fucking Smith.
"In your momma’s car, Smith. I don't give three shits where you stay. Listen to the rules and keep up. You fuck up, and you're out. Period." I turned as Micah sauntered up. "You remembered to invite the Ice House? You always seem to leave them out."
He nodded. "Yeah. Those fuckers always bring drugs. That's why I leave them out."
"It's just pot. Stop being a pussy." I walked around him and moved to the middle of the yard as the rest of the frat walked down the back stairs. "Gather up, bitches. Party starts in forty-five minutes."
Everyone moved toward me with a gleam in their eye that lit a fire deep inside of me. I loved Omega’s end of the year party. It was one of the best nights of the year, but remembering more than the beginning of it was always a feat in itself. The beer flowed freely and the girls were nasty as shit. It was bliss.
"Three rules. You know these if you've been in the house for more than a day, but let's repeat them for the idiots who can't remember their last name, much less the house rules. Anyone wanna tell me numero uno?" I glanced around as several hands shot up.
"Don't bareback a pussy," one of the guys yelled from the back.
"Exactly. I'm sure all of you have heard about the situation over at the Ice House. Our buddy Geoff decided that sleeping with one of the hookers that hang around their place was far too important and decided to dance in the rain without his rain coat. Anyone know what happened?"
"Bitch got pregnant."
"Exactly." I tilted my head to the side. "Anyone here wanna raise kids while trying to make it through classes and hold down a job at the local grocery store? You guys ready to provide for a bitchy wife and a snotty-nose kid?" I was overdoing it, but it was college... why the hell not.
"No!" they all yelled in tandem.
"For the record, he was wearing a rubber and it tore, so how about you just not fuck anyone until you're in a long-term, committed relationship?" Micah glanced around as the crowd fell silent.
"Moving on." I rolled my eyes and lifted two fingers in the air. "Rule number two. Who knows it?"
"Don't toke if you're on a team."
"Exactly. There will be weed and probably several other low-class drugs running around the crowd tonight. Be smart. You get popped for being stupid, your scholarship and your dreams of grandeur are going to go up in flames. Don't be an idiot. Drink and fuck, but leave the smoking and toking to the losers without purpose. Yes?"
"Yeah!" they all yelled, though half of them were said losers.
"Last rule?" I glanced around with a smile on my face.
"You break it, you buy it, you bake it, you take it."
"Righto again. You guys are fucking geniuses." I winked as they chuckled. "If you fuck something up in the house, we'll all bring you out here tomorrow morning when you feel like hammered shit, and we'll beat your ass until you can't walk. Then you'll pay for whatever you destroyed, because we like our stuff. In that same vein, if you bring a bitch into my house tonight and she gets sick or sluts herself out, she's still your responsibility. Clean up the mess she makes and take her ass out. No one left by nine tomorrow morning. Got it?"
Mumbling. Everyone hated the last rule the most. Who wanted to take responsibility for a series of mistakes made in a drunken haze? Not me. Certainly not them.
"Good. Get busy and make this place look amazing. String the rest of the lights and get everything iced down. We go live in thirty minutes." I waved my hands in the air. "Get the fuck to it. Shit."
"I'm not sure how we
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