No Such Thing As a Good Blind Date: A Brandy Alexander Mystery (No Such Thing As: A Brandy Alexander Mystery) Read Online Free

just slipped my mind?”
    “I’m sure I would’ve remembered,” Stan said, smooth as snake oil. And then, swear to God, he winked at me. I gave myself points for not throwing up.
    “The reason I’m asking is, you’ve got your hand practically down my bra cup, and that’s usually reserved for men I’ve known longer than six minutes.” I disengaged myself from Stan and leaned across him to tap Janine on the shoulder. She tried her best to ignore me, lost in conversation with Eric Something or Other; another accounts exec, and judging by the placement of his hands, a “leg” man. I tried again.
    “Yo, Janine. Isn’t that Christine Yablonski over in the corner, by the plastic Fichus tree?” I waved a hearty hello in the general direction of the faux Fichus. A middle-aged woman with short, steel gray hair and a man’s suit smiled and waved a tentative hello back.
    “Who?” Janine asked, clearly not playing along.
    I turned to Stan and Eric. “Old friend. Would you excuse us for a minute?” I shoved Janine off her stool and herded her out of the bar area.
    “Brandy, what is wrong with you? Those guys are cute, rich and interested.”
    “Look, I don’t mean to sound ungracious here, but unless Stan is an undercover gynecologist, he needs to keep his hands off my boobs.”
    Janine thought about this for a minute. “Maybe he’s just a really affectionate kind of guy.”
    “And maybe he’s just a perv. Janine, we just met!”
    Janine looked downcast.
    “Okay, what’s going on here? Why are you pushing so hard for this?”
    “Well,” Janine said, “it’s just that we’ve all been worried about you.”
    “Who all?”
    “Everybody.”
    I felt a colossal headache coming on and with it, a minor epiphany. “Have you been talking to Carla?”
    Janine refused eye contact. “Maybe.”
    Unhhh! “Carla thinks I moved back here to be near Bobby. Is that what you think too? Because that’s ridiculous! Not to mention pathetic. Do I look pathetic to you?” My voice was starting to hit a range known only to dogs—and possibly whales.
    Janine raised her arms in an “I surrender” gesture. “Okay. I believe you. You’re not stuck on Bobby. But Eric and I are really hitting it off, so could you please be civil to Stan—at least until I can get Eric to ask for my phone number?”
    “Fine,” I grunted.
    “Thank you.”
    We headed back to the bar, my new and improved sweet-as-pie attitude threatening to hurl me into a diabetic coma. The guys had ordered drinks for us while we were gone. Clear, dark amber liquid in tall glasses, with pink umbrellas peering over the top. I was smiling so hard my cheeks hurt. Janine kicked me under the bar.
    “Too much?” I whispered. She rolled her eyes in response.
    “What’s this?” I asked, inspecting the glass.
    “Long Island Iced Tea,” Stan the Hand said.
    “Oh, I love iced tea.”
    “Uh, Bran?” Janine started, as I picked up the drink and took a huge thirst-quenching gulp. The effects were immediate, the room spinning out of orbit being my first clue.
    “This isn’t iced tea, is it?”
    “In name only,” said Stan.
    “What’s in this thing, anyway? And by the way, it’s delicious!” I grabbed hold of the straw and began slurping it down like there was no tomorrow.
    “Vodka, gin, tequila…” He reached for my glass.
    “Whoa, hold on there, cowboy.”
    Stan tried to pull the drink out of my hand but I was too quick for him. I downed the rest and set the glass back on the counter, grinning up at him. He had a certain je ne sais quoi that for some reason I hadn’t noticed before. The arm was back around my shoulder and this time I let him keep it there.
    “Hey, Stan,” Janine said, eying his arm around me, “you didn’t slip a little Ecstasy in there, did you?”
    “No! What do you take me for, anyway?”
    I tugged on Stan’s sleeve, pointing to Janine’s drink.
    “Yoo hoo, can I have another one of those things?” I asked, leaning against