one questioning eyebrow, she added, âItâs going to take him time to recover his strength, and heâll need to eat steadily to replace whatever he lost with all the blood, but heâll live.â
Joel got to his feet as relief replaced Silasâs silent question. âIt was my fault.â
âNo, it wasnât,â Silas countered.
Naomiâs fingers clenched. âIt was someoneâs .â
Silasâs gaze pinned on her.
She ignored it. âSomeone dropped the ball up there,â she said, staring at Joel. He blanched, face twisted in a mire of guilt and anger. She didnât care.
Someone had fucked up.
Someone had nearly gotten Phin killed. Had gotten Lillian taken.
Joel stared at his fists, clenched in front of him. âWeâd gone out to locate a couple of our contacts. Mr. Clarke wanted to come this timeââ
âWhat the fuck was the point?â
âWest,â Silas snapped. He crossed the small bedroom, stepping over a small pile of stacked wooden boxes lacquered with pretty designs. Junk, all of it junk. And she was surrounded by it.
She spun as his fingers closed on her shoulder, disengaging as smoothly as if heâd never even touched her. Her chest heaved with every breath, and with mounting horror, she realized the pounding rhythm of her own heart wasnât all from anger. Her lungs constricted.
Another panic attack. An echo of the hysteria sheâd suffered before leaving the Mission. And sheâd be damned if she lost her shit in front of either of them. Her chest closed, fighting for air.
âNo,â Joel said, shaking his head. âSheâs right. I dropped the ball. Miss West, Iâm so sorry. I met Mr. Clarke at the usual rendezvous. Everything seemed all right, but when we drove inââ His voice broke.
âTake it easy,â Silas rumbled.
âA big black van was parked right outside the condo,â Joel said tightly. âThey forced Mrs. Clarke inside, and next thing I knew, Mr. Clarke jumped out. Charged them.â
Oh, God. The idiot .
âI didnât check the alarm,â Joel said, tormented gaze settling on Naomi. Pleading with her. âI always check the alarm, but I . . . I didnât, this time. I didnât realize Mrs. Clarke had flipped it. I got careless.â
Her shoulders rigid, she opened her mouth to let fly all the pent up anxiety, the panic sheâd been carrying since Jessie had dropped into that vision; to sink her blame, unfair as she knew it was, into Joelâs grave, guilt-ridden face.
And then hesitated.
Shitfuck . What was this going to do?
She closed her eyes, swallowed back every poisonous barb. âGet out,â she whispered.
She didnât dare look at Joel. Didnât even look at Silas as she heard footsteps cross the room, navigating the pre-quake furniture and junk. The door creaked open, paused. âIâm sorry,â Joel whispered again, and the door closed.
Her knees trembled. She fisted her hands tightly against her stomach.
âWhat is wrong with you?â
It didnât surprise her that Silas didnât go. Sheâd never been able to order him around, at least not outside the line of duty. Duty they didnât have any more. She raked shaking fingers through her shaggy hair, yanking it back from her face. âI donât know.â
She opened her eyes as Silas caught her arm, glaring at it as if she could break his fingers with the force of her stare. He pulled her away from the bed and its sleeping occupant. âBullshit.â
Sheâd clearly touched a nerve. She jerked her arm free.
He slashed a hand in the air, cutting her off. âSave the attitude, West. That man is a fucking civilian . What do you expect him to do against missionaries like you?â
Nothing. She knew that. Every word slapped her in the face, and she half-turned to stare at Phin. To take him in, memorize every sleeping line of