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eyes!’
    â€˜All right,’ said Gene, staring at me hard. Then he said crossly. ‘But now I’ve got to do
another
picture of you,’ hesaid, padding over the special drawer where he keeps his art things.
    Over pudding – my delicious lemon drizzle cake and cream – I asked them how Chrissie’s trip had been to New York and this is when the conversation suddenly went a bit silent and Chrissie left the table to do some washing up, and if it had all been a film, some sinister music would have started playing, with low droning violins and a throbbing drumbeat.
    Jack looked down at the table and then he pushed his chair back and said, ‘Well, that’s what we wanted to tell you about, Mum.’
    Of course at that moment I knew exactly what was coming and my heart sank into my boots. He didn’t have to say another word. Everything suddenly fell into place as if I’d known all along but had just hidden it from myself. Chrissie had been offered a job in New York and they were going over.
    â€˜How long for?’ I asked, as lightly as I could, trying to hide the catch in my voice.
    â€˜Don’t jump to wild conclusions, Mum,’ said Jack, rather snappily. ‘We haven’t even told you what it is!’
    â€˜Chrissie’s been offered a job in New York,’ I said.
    â€˜How did you know?’ said Chrissie, turning from the sink.
    â€˜Sometimes you just know these things,’ I said. Though actually I didn’t really know how I knew at all. I just knew I knew.
    â€˜Well, anyway, yes, that’s true. But there’s nothing to worry about.’
    â€˜Nothing to worry about?’ I said. ‘But I’ll never see you again!’
    In my racing mind I’d already got them living in New York forever, then moving even further away to California, and Gene growing up with an American accent, wearing a permanent baseball cap either backwards or sideways on his crew-cut head and chewing gum, and us all being completely unable to recognise each other when we did finally meet. Every ten years if we were lucky.
    â€˜Honestly, you’ve got us living there forever and never seeing you again before we’ve even thought about it properly!’
    The immensity of what they were about to do suddenly hit me with huge force. I burst into floods of tears.
    â€˜But you’ll all be saying “Gee whizz!” I heard myself wailing.
    â€˜What, Mum?’ said Jack, pushing his chair forward and leaning over the table to hold my hand in his. ‘We’ll all be saying what?’
    â€˜G-g-gee whi-whi-wh-whizz,’ I hiccupped, choking, between sobs. For some reason this seemed the saddest thing I could think of. ‘Gee whizz, darling,’ I added, in a more composed voice, in case he hadn’t understood.
    Jack started laughing and so did Chrissie. ‘We’ll never say “Gee whizz”, said Jack, and at that point I realised how silly I must have sounded and started to laugh myself. Everyone was very sweet and pulled out their handkerchiefs and Gene came over and said he knew his alphabet now,and Jack said ‘What is gee for, then? Or “g?”’ he said, making the sound.
    â€˜God,’ said Gene solemnly.
    â€˜And “a”?’ said Jack.
    â€˜Apple,’ said Gene.
    â€˜And “w”?’ said Jack (and under his breath, to me, ‘Listen to this’).
    â€˜â€œW” is for wabbit,’ said Gene.
    â€˜Mum, don’t worry … we’re not going till May … and anyway, we’ll only be gone a year at most …’
    â€˜But you might stay on,’ I said, miserably, trying to pull myself together. I felt that I’d known this was coming all along, and suddenly all my grief had just burst out at once. ‘You might stay there for ever and ever and I’ll never see you again …’ the tears started welling up again.
    â€˜Well, I can’t