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ass I am going to kick in New York!”
    “You know, Grace, I like the sound of that.  We are entering a new phase in our lives and I can tell you are more than ready for it.  You, Dee, and Janie always painted me as the brave one.  I don’t know if you realize it but within you is one bold and fearless woman.  I can’t wait to see how your new adventure unfolds.”   
     

Chapter 4
     

 
     
    Within you is one bold and fearless woman.
    Eve’s words to me were exactly the catalyst I needed to get going on the new me.  I had four months to get in shape.  Luckily, the ice cream shop closed after Labor Day.  I give into temptation too easily.  I knew once my stomach started grumbling, it would be too easy to eat my favorite comfort food – ice cream.
    Losing my part time job though did make me realize I needed to earn some money for New York.  My father was going to cover my tuition and graduate housing.  However, the rest was up to me.    When it came to finding a part time job, my neighbor saved the day.  Her sister, Jenn, had a baby six months ago and was now going back to work.  Due to a passport problem, the au pair was not going to be able to start until January.  It was perfect for me.  A few months of babysitting for shockingly ……a lot of money.    And cash too!  Wow, nannies made that much money?    
    I was pleasantly surprised at how quickly the four months flew by.  I started my babysitting job early in the morning.   Jenn and her husband often did not get home until 6pm or later.  I had more respect for working parents then I ever did in my entire life.  They both looked so tired when they walked in the door from their commute in the city.  Then, they had to deal with fussy baby Suzy.  I actually felt guilty as I watched soap operas and game shows with little Suzy on my lap.  What a job.  Suzy often took a nap in the morning and that was when I made sure the house was cleaned top and down for Jenn.  She told my neighbor that I was the nicest girl she could have ever gotten.  I didn’t look at it that way.  I was making three hundred dollars a week cash.  The least I could do was some serious cleaning.  Part of the reason for my guilt too was that I used Suzy’s long afternoon nap to work out like a crazy woman.  I was dripping sweat when I was done.   Within weeks I started to see changes in my body.  Thank goodness both Jenn and her husband were health nuts so there never was any food that I was worried would blow my diet. 
    Very quickly, January came.   As I loaded up the rental car for the drive to New York, I felt surreal.  I had been getting more than my fill of text messages from Dee, Janie, and Eve counting down the days.  Now the time had finally arrived.  I should have been nervous.  I was about to throw myself in an atmosphere that I felt deficient in.  If anyone else had told me that this was their plan.  To surround yourself with the very element that scares you.   Fencing yourself in an environment that made you unsure, lacking, weak, I would have thought they were crazy. 
    However, I started dreaming of the day I became Professor Grace Locke.  I saw myself standing behind a lectern, facing a sea of young faces and discussing a subject that I found a passion in.  I couldn’t wait until I could teach those lessons on the history of criminology.    I would lecture on medical studies on the brains of criminals during the 18and 19century and how they still influence our thoughts about crime today.  I would make sure I posted pictures on the smartboard of the archaic torture devices that criminals had to endure.   I would relish in the fact that a few female students would get queasy and the male students would love the gore. 
    I pictured myself in one of those power suits.  Only it would be tailored to my body perfectly.  Even in a blazer, you could see a waist and curves.  My skirt would be short enough to see nicely shaped