Never Trust a Troll! Read Online Free

shrieked Torblad. He began poking his fingers into his ears. “Which ear?”
    Grock moved his lips as if he were speaking, but made no sound.
    “What? What?” cried Torblad. “I can’t hear you!”
    And Grock shouted, “THAT’S ’CAUSE YE HAVE A BUG IN YER EAR!”
    Torblad began jumping up and down and pounding on the side of his head.
    Grock reached out to Torblad’s left ear. He drew his hand away and opened it to reveal a HUGE cockroach.
    “Aaaaiiii!” screamed Torblad, and he ran from the dining hall.
    “In you go, Crawler,” the troll said as he slid the roach into the pocket of his tunic. He grinned at Wiglaf. “He’s me pet.”
    “If you want to make friends, you have to stop tricking everybody, Grock,” said Wiglaf.
    “He deserved it, didn’t he?” asked the troll.
    “That was great, Grock,” said Aggie. She slapped the troll on the back. “Can I sit with you at breakfast?”
    “Yah,” said Grock. “Why not?”
    Wiglaf, Grock, and Aggie all helped themselves to Frypot’s scrambled eel and moat-weed “bacon.”
    At the table, Erica was chatting with Dudwin, her Class I buddy. Wiglaf felt very glad that Erica would be looking out for his little brother. Janice was trying to talk to her buddy, Maggot. And there was Angus, sitting next to Bilge, looking miserable.
    “The food here is pretty bad!” Aggie said as they took their seats.
    “Yah,” said Grock. He shoveled his food into his mouth in one large clump. Then he chewed, with his mouth wide open, drooling. “How do ye stand it, buddy?”
    “You get used to it,” said Wiglaf, looking away so as not to see the chunks of half-chewed food spilling out of Grock’s mouth. “So,” he managed. “Do either of you have any questions about DSA?”
    “Yah,” said Grock. “Yer brother says ye slew two dragons. How did ye do it, buddy? Did ye whack‘em and stab’em and slice off their bloody heads?”
    “No!” said Wiglaf quickly. “I cannot stand the sight of blood.”
    “Ye can’t?” said Grock.
    Wiglaf shook his head. “I discovered the dragons’ secret weaknesses,” he said. “That’s how I slew them.”
    “Whoops!” Grock said, dropping his spoon. He ducked under the table to get it.
    “I have a question,” said Aggie. “Who teaches music class?”
    “We don’t have music class,” said Wiglaf.
    “WHAT?” cried Aggie. “Mordred told my mother there was. I have to exercise my voice every single day.”
    “Found it!” Grock cried cheerily, popping up from beneath the table with his spoon. “I have another question, buddy. Can me mum send me a goodie box?”
    “Sure,” said Wiglaf. “My friend Angus gets goodie boxes from his mother all the time.”
    “Ah, good,” said Grock. “’Cause me mum want to send me all the eyeballs.”
    “Is that a kind of candy?” asked Aggie.
    “’Tis for me,” said Grock, licking his lips with his pointy red tongue. “Eyeballs from all the humans she eats.”
    “Eww!” said Aggie. “You mean real eyeballs?”
    “Yah,” said Grock. “The fresh ones be nice and crunchy.”
    Wiglaf put down his spoon. He had lost his appetite. But Grock licked his plate clean.
    “Can ye get seconds here?” Grock asked.
    “I don’t know,” said Wiglaf. “No one’s ever wanted seconds before.”
    Grock handed Wiglaf his plate. “Get me more, buddy. Pretty please with sugar on top?”
    “All right.” Wiglaf held the edges of Grock’s slimy plate. He stood up and took a step toward the kitchen. WHAP! He fell flat on his face.
    “Yow!” cried Wiglaf. The plate skidded across the floor.
    “Guh-huh! Guh-huh! Guh-huh!” the troll laughed. “Have a nice trip, buddy?”
    The dining hall erupted in laughter.
    Erica ran over. “Wiggie!” she cried. “Are you okay?”
    “I—I think so,” said Wiglaf.
    Dudwin was there, too. He and Erica helped Wiglaf sit up.
    Wiglaf rubbed the bump that was rising on his forehead.
    “Your boots!” cried Dudwin.
    Wiglaf looked down. His boot