that, Finn shoved his way past Sawyer, and a few minutes later, our dad took the seat between us.
“I don’t like it any more than you do,” Dad said, breaking the silent frustration. “But we can’t stop him. All we can do is be there for him so he’ll feel comfortable enough to come to us for support when his ‘relationship’ finally goes in the crapper where it belongs.”
Well said, Dad. Well said.
*
Sawyer and I stood by Finn’s side as he pledged his undying love to the embodiment of pure evil, but only in case he came to his senses at the last minute and needed a getaway driver. We argued over who would rush him to the car and who would tackle the raging lunatic he left at the altar—we both wanted a chance to take her down—but in the end, we decided to play it by ear. To be safe, we made sure the tanks of both rental cars were completely full.
Unfortunately, we didn’t get the opportunity to find out who would get to go all Urlacher on Kristy’s ass and who would be hauling Finn’s to Indianapolis International Airport. On second thought, making a break for the Canadian border might’ve been safer. I doubt they issued passports to demons.
My only consolation came in the form of a couple of easy bridesmaids. My new whore-in-law had to have told them we were loaded. In her eyes, Finn’s wallet was his most attractive quality. Much to the sluts’ dismay, there was no fucking way either of them would get within ten feet of my AmEx. I kept that bad boy securely locked away in the room safe while I fucked the hell out of them.
It took a while, but I eventually blew my load. I couldn’t say the same for them with any certainty. Maybe they did, maybe they didn’t—I wasn’t paying attention.
Who was I kidding? Of course they did. Thomas Junior, or T.J. for short, could make a frigid chick come without breaking a sweat.
The sun was already rising by the time I sent the first one on her walk of shame. I kept the second one around a little bit longer to see if she could wake up my dick for round two, but after twenty minutes of sucking on it with her unskilled mouth, I sent her on her way as well. Might have worked if I hadn’t been wearing a condom, but since she was either a friend or relative of Lord Volde-whore, I wasn’t letting her anywhere near my dick without one.
I bet Juli’s mouth would have made me spew like a fire hydrant in under two minutes flat. Unfortunately, I fucked that all to hell before I had a chance to find out. I’d already planned my next turn, which included a sixty-nine at the top of the Eiffel Tower. Of course, I had put my foot in my mouth before I could put my dick in hers.
Based on the way my cock behaved while in the mouth of the substitute redhead, I’d have to stick to blondes and brunettes from now on. Whatever it was about Juli that got my dick hard with a single thought was now moot. Even if I were the kind of man to pursue a woman for more than a fuck or two, or maybe eight or nine in Juli’s case, I didn’t know her last name. I knew for a fact the concept of romantic love was a stupid myth, so there was no way in hell I believed in nauseating bullshit like serendipity or fate.
Deciding I’d just have to fuck away the memories of how she worked my cock as if she owned the patent on orgasms, I took a shower and packed my bags. I hadn’t slept yet, but that was what long plane rides were for.
I’d failed my mission of saving Finn’s soul. Since he’d already left for his vomit-inducing honeymoon, nothing was keeping me in Nowhere, Indiana. After grabbing my wallet from the safe, I stopped by my parents’ room to say goodbye.
Thanks to thin walls and adjoining rooms, I knew Sawyer had mercilessly plowed some chick the night before, filling me with brotherly pride. Since he was taking a later flight and didn’t need to leave for the airport for a few more hours, I decided not to interrupt his much-needed sleep.
*
With Finn away on his