Never Coming Back Read Online Free

already been crying. “This isn’t really a good time,” he said, lying. He looked around the kitchen. Dishes stacked up in the sink. Cereal boxes left on the counters. “I’m right in the middle of something here.”
    â€œWhy do you still answer my calls?”
    â€œWhat do you mean?”
    â€œWhen David described you, he always said you were difficult tobreak down. Angry. Aloof. When I first started calling you, that was the man I expected to find.”
    Healy didn’t say anything.
    â€œBut I’ve never
found
that man.” She paused. “You’ve never been like that. I know you hate talking to me, but you still answer my calls.” Another pause, this time for longer. She sniffed, stopped, sniffed again. “Why do you answer my calls, Colm?”
    â€œI don’t know,” he said.
    â€œDo you feel sorry for me—is that it?”
    There was nothing in the question, no malice, but there was no right answer: yes, and she would cling on to it and use it as some kind of excuse to call him more often; no, and he would be telling her never to call again.
So? If you hate her calling so much, just tell her.
Except he couldn’t do that. Because, deep down, he wasn’t sure he
did
hate her calling.
    Reaching across the table, he lit another cigarette and opened the window. Smoke drifted out through the gap, vanishing into the rain. For a moment his thoughts turned to David Raker. Everything Raker had told Liz was right. And maybe when the pressure was turned up, Healy would become that man again. But here, in this place, miles away from the life he’d once known, Healy felt like a different man. She may only have been using him, may only have been calling him because he was a vessel for something else—some sort of connection to Raker—but, in her own way, she needed him. And that was the first time anyone had needed Healy, for whatever reason, for a very long time.
    â€œColm?”
    â€œIt’s hard to understand,” he said.
    â€œWhat is?”
    â€œWhy what happened, happened.”
    â€œIs it hard for
you
to understand?”
    He looked out through the window. “Yes.”
    â€œYou mean that?”
    â€œYes.”
    She didn’t sound like she believed him.
    â€œListen, Liz, I know this is tough to hear, but—”
    â€œI know what you’re going to say,” she cut in, her voice quiet. “I know what you’re going to tell me to do. Accept it. Move on. Try to forget about what happened to him.”
    He didn’t respond. She’d second-guessed him.
    â€œ
Right?
”
    â€œRight.”
    â€œWell, it’s not so easy for me,” she said. “I’m still here in London with all the memories, living next door to his empty house. I haven’t got myself a nice little holiday cottage in Devon to disappear to and forget about everything that happened.”
    â€œI haven’t forgotten about what happened.”
    â€œHaven’t you?”
    â€œNo.”
    Outside, the wind came again—harder and more forceful than before. The house seemed to wheeze, like the foundations had shifted.
    â€œHe was so similar to you,” she said.
    â€œYeah, you said that before.”
    â€œHe was chasing after ghosts, just like you.”
    â€œLook,” Healy said, trying to maintain the composure in his voice, “I know what it’s like to lose someone. Remember that. I’ve been where you are—I’ve been through
worse
than you—so I know how it is.”
    She cleared her throat, but didn’t say anything.
    â€œYou can’t forget about it. I understand that. But you need to try. You need to start processing what happened. Sooner or later, you need to start facing it down.”
    Silence on the line.
    â€œBecause Raker’s gone, Liz. And he’s never coming back.”

4
    An hour later, Healy was sitting in the corner of the pub, a small, dark,