Nell Gwynne's On Land and At Sea Read Online Free

it’s them, somebody’s being bloody careless, because the whole town’s talking about ‘em. And if it ain’t the Gentlemen, then they need to know about it post-haste.”
    “What ought we to do?” said Lady Beatrice.
    “Just what we done,” Mrs. Corvey replied. “But if I don’t hear back by post soon, I’ll be obliged to send to ‘em on the Aetheric Transmitter.”
     

     
    A squall of rain blew through in the night, and though it had blown out by morning, the sands were unpleasantly chilly and damp. As a consequence, rather than go bathing, the ladies went for a stroll along Victoria Parade to look in the shop windows.
    They trooped along together, enjoying the splendid views across the bay, to say nothing of the unaccustomed fresh air and sunlight, until misfortune overtook them. It chanced that Miss Rendlesham had had a bonnet of a whimsical nature trimmed up especially for the seaside. Rather than the customary silk roses or violets, it was adorned with a cockade incorporating several real seashells, a dried seahorse, and a shrimp made from oiled paper and painted plaster, the latter very lifelike. Far too lifelike, as they discovered whilst idling outside a confectioner’s shop window.
    “Look out!” cried Lady Beatrice, who had glanced up just in time to see a gull swooping down. The others screamed and ducked as the bird beat its wings wildly, striking and pulling at the faux prawn. Miss Rendlesham cowered, clutching the ribbons by which her bonnet was held on. Herbertina had just taken Mrs. Corvey’s cane and was aiming a blow at the importunate bird when something flashed overhead and impacted the gull. There was an explosion of feathers, and an inordinately huge knife bounced off Miss Rendlesham’ shoulder and landed with a clatter on the paving. The gull squawked once and veered off, flopping into the sea.
    There was a renewed chorus of screams (and an oath from Herbertina). Miss Rendlesham stood trembling in a cloud of feathers, afraid to let go of her hat. Mrs. Corvey snatched her cane back from Herbertina and gingerly poked at the knife. “Dear God, is someone chucking cutlasses around here?”
    “Ma’am!” cried a male voice, and looking up they beheld a man running toward them along the seafront.
    “I believe this is our knight errant,” said Lady Beatrice, observing him closely as he neared them. He was a tall and well-built gentleman in a light summer suit, with a fine head of chestnut curls and prodigious whiskers. As he came close enough to look into Lady Beatrice’s eyes he halted and pulled himself up, in an effect remarkably similar to a stallion rearing. Lady Beatrice sighed inwardly. She often had that effect on men. She assumed it was due to her eyes, which were grey and had a rather penetrating gaze.
    “I—I—Ma’am, I must h’apologize for the h’intrusion, but I saw the young lady being h’assailed—and I, ah…” The gentleman’s booming voice, which bespoke the American South despite his music hall accent, trailed away as he stared at Lady Beatrice, his mouth slightly open.
    “It was very good of you,” she told him. He remained gaping at her, apparently spellbound, a moment longer before recollecting himself and bending to scoop up the knife. He returned the knife to his inside coat pocket, and belatedly removed his hat.
    “Forgive my, ah, I mean, we ’aven’t been h’introduced—Allow me to—the name’s Tredway Pickett, ma’am.” Mr. Pickett seized Lady Beatrice’s hand and bent over it in a fervent kiss.
    “How do you do, Mr. Pickett,” murmured Lady Beatrice.
    “I do ’ope the young lady wasn’t too scared by me knife? I do think I got the villainous creature,” said Mr. Pickett, straightening up but not relinquishing Lady Beatrice’s hand.
    “You did, Mr. Pickett, without question. Were you much frightened, Charlotte?” Lady Beatrice turned to regard Miss Rendlesham.
    “Only moderately,” replied Miss Rendlesham, who had taken off