Nan's Journey Read Online Free

minding me . If they didn’t, she would give them reason to fear her. She began with a couple of swats. They jumped as soon as she ordered them.
    She became alarmed as she remembered her reaction at the sight of blood on Nan’s back. She had not been raised to cause injury. Why had she done this? When the blood began soaking through Nan’s dress she had become angry about the effort it would take to get the stain out. In h er frustration she hit Nan harder and harder with the strap.
    The release of anger felt good to her. She quit when the strap became too heavy for her to lift. Nan lay barely able to get a breath. Mary grew sick to her stomach think ing that she had done all the damage to the body lying at her feet.
    Mary had never been hit much before she married Sam. He looked harmless, but he certainly brought pain when he wanted to. Working at the mill made him strong and frustration made him mean. He had left three months ago to be with his dying mother , and Mary was relieved to see him leave. Maybe she could sort out her thoughts and actions while he was gone.
    She opened the old trunk in the corner of the kitchen to see if Nan and Elmer had more clothes that she could make over for them. The photograph on the top of the items had an unusual effect on her. A beautiful family was smiling at her from the frame. Mother, Father, daughter and son in their Sunday best looked like something out of a dream.
    Mary had always envied families such as this. She had always felt like an outsider, as if she were outside the window of a house looking in to a warm room with a cozy fireplace and a family sitting around the room speaking wit h laughter and common happiness. S he was not invited in. True, her family had been a good family —h ard working, educated, and clean , but t hey were not especially happy. They made little time for play , and her mother and father were not affectionate to their children. Praise was considered a flaw. Mary remembered asking her mother to forgive her once , and Mom told her that she didn’t believe that she was sorry. She would have to prove that she was sorry by being good. Mary had been at a loss as to what to do. She never remembered her mother smiling at her.
    The face in the photo seemed to mock her and show her that she had never proved her love to her mother. At one time, t his woman had everything that Mary had wanted out of life, a loving, handsome, husband two sweet children, and a real home. Sam was gone. His mother had lingered longer than he had planned , and Mary was be coming worried that he might never return. Enough of this thinking, I must get things done! Mary said to herself.
    She walked into the kitchen and noticed the bedrolls were already up fr o m in front of the stove. She walked out the door and looked around the yard. She walked across to the barn and found that the cow had not been milked. Where were those children? She would have to look for them of course. Where could they be? They weren’t in the chicken house either. Mary ran into the kitchen and looked around. The torn, bloody dress was lying in the corner and the old work dress was gone. The bedrolls weren’t in the spot that they were kept. Had the children run away? They had taken so little with them; of course they had very little that belonged to them. What should she do? What was she expected to do? What would Sam say? Just at that moment she heard someone coming onto the porch.
     
     
    Chapter 5
     
    The sun spilled a rosy glow across the sagebrush as Nan blinked her eyes open after hou rs of deep sleep. She glimpsed the sunrise through the cracks in the boxcar. Elmer was still sleeping and Nan placed her hand on his brow. The fever had left. Maybe the headache that was tormenting him for the past three days had run its course. She smiled as she looked at his little boy face. He was a tough little guy. He never complained until thi ngs were unbearable. She was proud of him. He still had a babyish look