Nancy J. Bailey - Furry Murder 01 - My Best Cat Read Online Free

everyone the office was overstaffed.  But I knew it was the cats.
    Jack was a little reluctant to mortgage the house to pay for the campaign.  But he loved Baloo and understood we would get it all back in stud fees.
    “At least someone in this house will be getting some action,” he grumbled.
    He had no right to complain.  He knew my sinuses were acting up, yet he still expected me to perform unspeakable things.  Men.  They were all alike.  Period.
    “There are more important things in life than blow jobs, and plenty of other ways to have fun,” I said one evening when he was growing insistent.
    “Really?” he said.  “Name one!”
    “There’s no need to be like that,” I said.
    He put his glasses on and stood up, totally naked, and began pacing around the bedroom.  His appearance really didn’t help his cause any.  “A man’s got to have an orgasm!  That’s all there is to it!”
    “Well there’s certainly more than one way to skin a cat!” I said.
    “I don’t find your analogy amusing at all!”  He was getting more and more upset, and now he stood in the doorway waving his arms around.  His hips were a little wider than a man’s should be, and his skin was white and rather greasy.  He had a large pink bump, a mole, nestled amongst the matted hairs on his chest like an extra nipple.  It was really hard to concentrate on the issue at hand.
    “Please put some clothes on, and we’ll talk about it,” I said.
    “I don’t want to put my clothes on!” he shrieked.  “That’s the whole point!”
    That was back in his uppity phase.  Since then he had calmed down, probably because I rewarded his good behavior one night.  He had gone out to the pet supply store without me, come home and unloaded 200 lbs of pine-based pelleted kitty litter in the basement.  It wasn’t really that big a deal, but as a reinforcer I allowed him to have sex with me.  I won’t go into details, but let’s just say he was very satisfied that night. 
    “I wish you’d put out more often,” he said as he rolled off me.
    “Please!” I said.  “You’ve gotten it two times in the very recent few days!  And now you have the nerve to complain?”
    I thought it didn’t hurt to remind him, even though I understood all about men and sex.  Men had to be kept satisfied that way.  So I had learned to use it to my advantage.  It was ridiculously easy.  It was all in the timing.
    Cats were a little more complicated than men.  My Baloo-Bear was a blue Abyssinian.  He was the best of the best.  Period.  He had a few leg bars but I found this colored powder that perfectly matched his peachy undercoat.  It did the job nicely.  When you held him up under the lights, you could see the stripes a little bit, if you knew where to look.  Mostly they weren’t noticeable.  I didn’t understand what all the fuss was about leg bars anyway.
    Brushing up on my motivation, I was immersed in a very good book by Dr. Saul Marelli called, “Swamp Them With Kindness!  How To Have What You Want Before Others Get There.”  His methods had a little more empathy than the last book I’d read, “Goals With Gusto.”  But I didn’t subscribe to any one person’s methods.  I thought it was best to learn what I could and then go my own way.
    Jack thought the books were hogwash for the most part.  “There’s no better way to succeed than to write a book telling someone else how to succeed,” he said. 
    In a way I could see his point.  “But you have to admit that, judging by Baloo’s success, I’m on to something.  And I am going to make this work.  Baloo is going to be a National Winner.  Period.”
    He backed down like he always did.  He knew I was right.
    We were a team, Jack and me.  I stayed busy with ring clerking, and I got to know the judges that way.  I made a mental note of whatever refreshment they preferred.  I had gotten this idea from, “Rub Elbows With the Winners and Become One”.  Even