MYTH-Interpretations: The Worlds of Robert Asprin Read Online Free
Author: Robert Asprin
Tags: Fiction, General, Historical, Fiction - Fantasy, Fantasy, Short Stories, Fantasy Fiction; American, Fantasy - General, Science Fiction & Fantasy, Fantasy - Historical, Fantasy - Short Stories
together. "If nothing else, you two are the most attractive adventurers to try our little quest. Tell you what. Instead of going after the Hefalump and maybe getting your sweet selves dinged up or killed, what would you say to hiring on as my personal bodyguards? It would only be for public appearances...though I'm sure we would work out some kind of a bonus program for overtime."
"I think we'll take our chances with the Hefalump," Pookie said. "That was for five hundred in gold. Right?"
"That's right," the Duc said, apparently unaffected by the rejection. "Five hundred once the beast is killed or scared off. Now you two girls be careful when you go after it."
"You have no idea how careful we can be." Pookie smiled. "For example, how do we know we'll get out money after we've killed the critter?"
The Duc's smile wavered a little.
"Why because I've told you I'll pay you. Surely you don't doubt my word?"
"Not yours specifically," Pookie said. "Still, it isn't entirely unheard of that an adventurer has taken on some dangerous assignment only to find that when it was over, whoever hired him had a sudden memory lapse as to the exact amount promised. Some have even forgotten that payment was promised at all. On the off chance that something like that happened to us, we don't have much recourse. I mean, what can we do? Sue you? As I understand it you're the one who sits in judgement around here. We couldn't forcibly take it from you without having to face your household guards who, of course, would be on the alert at that time. Even if we got mad and just killed you, that still wouldn't get us our money. See what I mean?"
"Yes. I can see where that would be a problem," the Duc said, avoiding their eyes.
"Now, we don't mind risking our necks for money," Pookie said. "That's our business. It's just that we'd like some kind of assurance that we'll actually get our money at the end of it."
"What do you suggest?"
"Put it in escrow," Pookie said with a shrug. "Send the money to...say, the sheriff to hold until the job's over. We check with him, make sure the money's there and waiting for us, then we go after your Hefalump."
"That's fine by me," the Duc said, licking his lips. "I'll be glad when this situation is handled, believe me. As far as I'm concerned, the beast could go on doing its thing. It didn't bother anybody until they expanded their fields into his territory. If the farmers hadn't threatened to withhold their taxes until I did something about it, I would have just ignored the whole thing."
"Part of the price of ruling, I guess," Pookie said. "So, if we're in agreement, we'll drop by the sheriff's...say, tomorrow to check on the reward. Then we'll be on our way."
* * *
"...496...497...498...499...500! It's all here."
Pookie waved at her junior partner as she poured yet another flagon of wine for the sheriff.
"I gotta hand it to you two," the sheriff said, raising the flagon in a mock toast. "I always thought the Duc was clever, but you've got him beat. ‘Put the money in escrow.' I tell you with all the sell-swords and adventurers that have come through here, no one else has come up with that move."
"We've just had a little more experience with money grubbers than most." Pookie smiled, sipping at her own drink.
"Umm...can I ask a question?" Spyder said.
"You not only can, you may," her companion said.
"Huh?"
"Never mind." Pookie waved. "What's the question?"
"Well, you keep talking about how clever the Duc is." Spyder frowned. "I wasn't all that impressed with him."
"Bit of a scum bag, isn't he," Pookie said with a grimace. "Do you see what I mean about the offers female bodyguards get?"
"So what makes him so clever?"
"You have to learn to listen closer, dear," Pookie said. "The Duc had no intention of paying us...or anyone else regardless of the failure or success."
"He didn't?"
"Add up the pieces," Pookie said, counting off the points on her fingers. "First, the farmers try to expand their holdings
"I think we'll take our chances with the Hefalump," Pookie said. "That was for five hundred in gold. Right?"
"That's right," the Duc said, apparently unaffected by the rejection. "Five hundred once the beast is killed or scared off. Now you two girls be careful when you go after it."
"You have no idea how careful we can be." Pookie smiled. "For example, how do we know we'll get out money after we've killed the critter?"
The Duc's smile wavered a little.
"Why because I've told you I'll pay you. Surely you don't doubt my word?"
"Not yours specifically," Pookie said. "Still, it isn't entirely unheard of that an adventurer has taken on some dangerous assignment only to find that when it was over, whoever hired him had a sudden memory lapse as to the exact amount promised. Some have even forgotten that payment was promised at all. On the off chance that something like that happened to us, we don't have much recourse. I mean, what can we do? Sue you? As I understand it you're the one who sits in judgement around here. We couldn't forcibly take it from you without having to face your household guards who, of course, would be on the alert at that time. Even if we got mad and just killed you, that still wouldn't get us our money. See what I mean?"
"Yes. I can see where that would be a problem," the Duc said, avoiding their eyes.
"Now, we don't mind risking our necks for money," Pookie said. "That's our business. It's just that we'd like some kind of assurance that we'll actually get our money at the end of it."
"What do you suggest?"
"Put it in escrow," Pookie said with a shrug. "Send the money to...say, the sheriff to hold until the job's over. We check with him, make sure the money's there and waiting for us, then we go after your Hefalump."
"That's fine by me," the Duc said, licking his lips. "I'll be glad when this situation is handled, believe me. As far as I'm concerned, the beast could go on doing its thing. It didn't bother anybody until they expanded their fields into his territory. If the farmers hadn't threatened to withhold their taxes until I did something about it, I would have just ignored the whole thing."
"Part of the price of ruling, I guess," Pookie said. "So, if we're in agreement, we'll drop by the sheriff's...say, tomorrow to check on the reward. Then we'll be on our way."
* * *
"...496...497...498...499...500! It's all here."
Pookie waved at her junior partner as she poured yet another flagon of wine for the sheriff.
"I gotta hand it to you two," the sheriff said, raising the flagon in a mock toast. "I always thought the Duc was clever, but you've got him beat. ‘Put the money in escrow.' I tell you with all the sell-swords and adventurers that have come through here, no one else has come up with that move."
"We've just had a little more experience with money grubbers than most." Pookie smiled, sipping at her own drink.
"Umm...can I ask a question?" Spyder said.
"You not only can, you may," her companion said.
"Huh?"
"Never mind." Pookie waved. "What's the question?"
"Well, you keep talking about how clever the Duc is." Spyder frowned. "I wasn't all that impressed with him."
"Bit of a scum bag, isn't he," Pookie said with a grimace. "Do you see what I mean about the offers female bodyguards get?"
"So what makes him so clever?"
"You have to learn to listen closer, dear," Pookie said. "The Duc had no intention of paying us...or anyone else regardless of the failure or success."
"He didn't?"
"Add up the pieces," Pookie said, counting off the points on her fingers. "First, the farmers try to expand their holdings
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