My Soon-To-Be Sex Life Read Online Free

seventy-five cents extra,” he grumbled around a toothpick. “I gotta get a new gig.”
    I tried to make the most of the situation for him. “You think that’s bad, you should see the socks she crochets for the paperboy at Christmas.”
    The toothpick bobbed sympathetically. “Bad tippers make the worst parents, I always say. Good luck, kid.” The guy saluted me. “Remember you don’t have to wait till you’re legal to make a break for it. When I was your age, I had a tent outside the public library. Now that was living.”
    I watched him sputter away in his oil burner hatchback.
    â€œOkay, can someone tell me what the hell’s going on?” I tossed the zesty smelling pizza box on to the kitchen table, popping open the lid. I selected an overloaded wedge and started chomping.
    Mom began to speak.
    I held up a hand. “Eat first, kick me out later.”
    â€œI’m not kicking you out.” Mom grabbed another slice, her hand trembling. “What I said earlier came out all wrong. I wanted to wait until Grace got here before I made it worse.”
    Sure, you went ahead and dropped a bomb, only to leave me hanging. Great parenting skills. Everything in me wanted to snark those words out loud, but seeing my mother’s hand shake. That got to me.
    I scarfed down another bite of pizza instead.
    Grace picked off a mushroom, adding it to a pile of other rejects she had stacked inside the pizza box. “She’s got a point. Did you explain anything ?”
    Around a mouthful, I brought Grace up to speed. “She told me I was moving in with the old man, and then she clammed up until you got here.” I sucked back a swig of pop. “Why would he want me at his place, anyway? Like he cares about me. Or us.”
    â€œThat’s not true, Charlie.” Mom said. “Your Grandfather calls every Christmas to see how we’re doing. He always asks about you.”
    What? Since when? I couldn’t let that go. “Christ, he lives five blocks from here You make it sound like he risks his life, stuck in Zimbabwe or Peru, and has to travel miles on a boney-backed donkey to get to the only phone available for seven villages. I pass his rotten house everyday. If I see him at the living room window, I wave and he shuts his blinds so I don’t get the wrong idea and stop in.”
    â€œHe shuts the blinds?” Grace said. “Maybe he doesn’t know it’s you.”
    â€œOh, he knows it’s me. I know he knows it’s me. Roach said he’s never shut the blinds when she walks by.”
    Grace booted my foot under the table, a subtle warning to tone it down. “I’m sure there’s a logical reason for his behavior. How ‘bout we let your mom fill you in on a few key details before you reject the idea.”
    I folded my arms across my chest. “Okay,” I told mom, “spill.”
    â€œThis isn’t easy for me,” she said.
    â€œAnd I’m having a picnic?” I shut it when Grace glared.
    Mom traced the thin line of her eyebrow with a trembling finger, the way she does when she has a headache, or needs one of her happy pills. “I haven’t asked him for anything. Not in all these years. But he owes me. He owes us.” She lowered her hand and stared at me for a long moment.
    I squirmed in my seat, waiting for her to continue.
    â€œI’m addicted to Valium,” she said finally. “You’re well aware I started using when your father died. The doctor started me on a few pills a day, just to get over the bad times. I started to need more and more to function. Soon it was three little Vals to get out of bed in the morning, two before work, and a few at supper. Every time was a bad time. And last week was the worst.” Her voice shook. She lowered her head. I could barely see her lips moving. “I made a mistake, almost double dosed a patient. I’m lucky the hospital