My Family for the War Read Online Free

courtyard. With weak knees I tumbled into freedom, slammed the door closed, and I suddenly stood absolutely still, as if I had grown roots on the spot. Richard’s soccer ball lay in the middle of the entryway I had just lured the boys through. He had to put it down to have his hands free for me.
    How could he? I had never known him to leave it out of his sight. He knew there were children living on this street who would have given anything to have a ball like that. But now the soccer ball lay on the sidewalk because something else had been even more important to him. Richard must hate me fiercely.
    Something in me said, “Leave it alone, Ziska!” But instead of doing the only smart thing and getting away as fast as possible, I saw only that ball.
    And all at once I was gripped by a rage greater than anything I had ever experienced in my life. That stupid, shabby ball suddenly conjured up everything I absolutely didn’t want to think about. The birthday party when Richard had gotten the ball. The game of spin the bottle, where
the next one the bottle points to has to kiss someone!
The bottle turned, turned more slowly, stopped turning, and pointed to Richard. And Richard laughed, stood up without hesitating, walked through the circle of kids toward me, and kissed me right on the mouth. He looked at me so sweetly while he did it.
    I hadn’t been invited to birthday parties for a long time. But at one time, Richard had been my friend.
    “Is it true, Ziska?” he had asked me later in a low voice. “Your parents are… you’re… Jewish?”
    “Nah,” I had answered. “Papa is a lawyer.”
    “Are you sure?”
    “Of course! You know he is!”
    He rumpled his forehead. “But my mother said that you’re Jews.”
    “Should I ask my mother?” I could see how concerned he was about this. “I’ll let you know tomorrow.”
    He planted himself in the schoolyard the next day and listened to me, his face without any expression, as I relayed my mother’s explanation. Yes, we actually did have Jewish ancestors, and I had never heard anything about it before because all four of my grandparents had already converted to Protestantism in the last century. So when it was time for religion classes at school, I was part of the Protestant group, I believed in Jesus, and I would be confirmed at the same time as Richard. The other kids stood around us, and no one said anything. Richard shifted from one leg to the other and I noticed that he had just as little clue about what to do with this information as I did. For my part, I couldn’t have told you exactly what “Jewish” meant, or why it was of any significance in the schoolyard.
    “Eeeew! Richard kissed a Jew!” fat Roland finally screamed.
    In the next instant he lay on the ground, crying, because Richard hit him with a perfect right hook. There was a wave of muttering among the other children, who took a step backward just to be safe. Proudly, I lifted my chin and looked around with a challenging gaze. That was much better thana kiss! No one had ever hit someone else for my sake before!
    Then he let go of Roland. He fell back in the dust and lifted his arms in front of his face. “Okay, Richard, I get it,” he whimpered.
    Richard took a step back and looked at me again, and I could not believe what I saw. Everything that was handsome about his face had disappeared; there was nothing there but a hard mask that stared at me, full of accusation, rage, and contempt.
    “You should have told me!” he barked at me.
    “But Richard… why?” I managed to get out.
    All I saw then was his jutted chin, his bright eyes, and the quick, hard motion of his shoving me. I lay on my back next to fat Roland, who crawled away from me fast, as if I had a contagious disease. I squinted up at Richard. He gave me a kick and turned away.
    “Now we have you, you Jewish pig!”
    Richard, who had followed me through the basement, came at me from behind, August and Eberhard from the front. I