and she was dying. I know now that the afterbirth hadn’t been expelled properly, but I didn’t know anything about childbirth then. She was bleeding and no one could make it stop. She wanted me to take care of her baby.” Sarah’s voice caught on a sob as the horrible memories overcame her.
“You did, didn’t you?” Maeve cried. “Please tell me you didn’t leave him there!”
“He was already dead,” Sarah remembered, wiping the tears from her own face. “Such a tiny little thing and so perfect. I’ll never forget how beautiful he was. But I promised her I’d take care of him, and then . . . then she was gone.”
“And that’s why you became a midwife,” Maeve guessed, her voice filled with wonder.
“Yes,” Sarah said simply. “There were other reasons, too, but that was probably the most important one.”
“And when you married Dr. Brandt, your parents had learned their lesson and didn’t stand in your way.”
“I suppose you could say that. At least they didn’t stop me. I didn’t see them much after I was married, and after Dr. Brandt died, we quarreled and didn’t speak at all for several years.”
“But now you’ve made up.”
“Yes, although none of us can really forget what happened to Maggie.”
“But that wasn’t your fault. You were so young, you couldn’t’ve done anything.”
“I knew Maggie wasn’t going to Europe. She told me she was planning to elope. I’ll always wonder what would have happened if I’d told my parents and they’d been able to stop her.”
“You couldn’t do that! She wanted to be with the man she loved!” Maeve protested.
“But if I’d spoken up, she’d still be alive and her baby would, too. Even her husband . . . He hanged himself after Maggie died. Three lives lost, because I kept her secret.”
“That’s foolishness, Mrs. Brandt,” Maeve insisted. “You can’t know what would’ve happened. Maybe Maggie wouldn’t want to be alive like that. Imagine knowing your baby was out there somewhere and you’d never see him again!”
Sarah smiled at the girl. “Thank you, Maeve, for trying to make me feel better.”
“I’m not trying to make you feel better,” she protested. “I’m telling the truth!”
“Yes, you are,” Sarah said. “And you’re right. We don’t know what would have happened, but now you know what did happen and why my mother is so interested in contacting the dead.”
“Does she want to tell your sister she’s sorry for what happened?”
“Yes, she does, and since we both know this spiritualist is a fake, she’s not going to be able to do that.”
“But what if she could?”
Sarah looked at her in surprise. “I thought you didn’t believe.”
“I don’t, but Mrs. Decker does, and that’s all that counts. If she believes this person can talk to your sister, then she can say she’s sorry and she’ll feel better. Would that be wrong?”
A very good question. Sarah considered it.
“Or maybe,” Maeve ventured, “you think she doesn’t deserve to be forgiven.”
“Oh, no! I know how sorry she is. I’ve always known that, but tonight I finally realized how much she’s suffered. I don’t want to see her suffer anymore.”
“Then what harm could it do? So long as you’re there to make sure nobody takes advantage of her, I mean.”
What harm could it do? Sarah had no idea. She just hoped she wasn’t going to find out.
2
B Y THE TIME THE DECKERS’ COACH STOPPED IN FRONT OF Sarah’s house the next day, she was certain she’d made a terrible mistake by agreeing to accompany her mother. Her growing apprehension had infected Catherine, who started crying when Sarah kissed her good-bye and started out the door.
“It’s all right, sweetheart,” she assured the child. “I’ll be back in a little while, and when I am, Mrs. Decker will be with me.”
“Hush, now,” Maeve soothed the child. “Mrs. Ellsworth will be here in a minute, and we’ll bake some cookies,” she said,