Much Ado About Nothing Read Online Free Page B

about Benedick – you must big him up, I’ll say he’s crazy for Bea.’
    They see Beatrice sneak in and take up herplace behind the sun loungers.
    â€˜Ready?’ Hero whispers. Then she turns up the volume.
    HERO: No, I’m telling you –
Beatrice is a tough cookie
. No man stands a chance of taming her.
    URSULA (proving she’s a quick learner): But you’re sure
Benedick’s in love with her
?
    HERO: I heard it from Claudio and Pedro. They think I should tell her, but I said it was a bad idea.
    URSULA: How come?
    HERO: It’s obvious.
Beatrice is too big headed to listen
. She’ll never fall in love with anyone except herself.
    URSULA: You’re right. Better not tell her in case she laughs in Ben’s face.
    HERO: There’s not a guy on this planet that Bea would fancy, no matter how smart, classy or gorgeous he is. If he’s too handsome, she makes her sarcastic lady-boy put-downs. Too dark, too tall, too short – she’ll always findsomething to make fun of. Either the guy talks too little or not enough – he can’t win.
    URSULA (sighing): That’s not good.
    HERO: But who’s going to tell Bea she’s out of order. No, don’t look at me – she’d make mincemeat out of me.
    URSULA: Why not risk it and tell her anyway?
    HERO: No, I’ve got a better idea. I’ll find Benedick and persuade him to forget all about her. I’ll invent a nasty rumour to ruin her reputation.
    URSULA: Oh, that’s mean! But surely Bea’s clever enough to see Benedick’s good points. In fact, to tell you the truth, Hero, and don’t take offence – I rate Benedick higher than your husband-to-be! Talking of which, can I get a sneak preview of your wedding dress?
    HERO: It’s in my closet. Come and see.
    Job done. The girls have sprung the trap and go off arm in arm. Beatrice creeps out in total shock.
    â€˜My ears are burning. It can’t be true! Am I really that conceited? Well, that’s all about to change. And, Benedick, carry on loving me and I’ll love you back! I’m even ready to go shopping for a ring, because the fact is, if they say you deserve me, I’m totally ready to believe it!’

    As you can see, things are moving fast. I’m roaming the villa with my
Lite
crew, picking up the next scrap of scandal when we come across Pedro chatting with Benedick, Claudio and Leonato in the hot tub.
    â€˜As soon as you’ve tied the knot, I have to leave,’ Pedro tells Claudio. ‘I’ve got a meeting in Aragon with the head of the Italian football league. Ben, do you wanna come along to keep me company? You’re still fancy-free, I take it?’
    â€˜Er, not totally,’ Benedick mumbles.
    Pedro gives him a long, meaningful look. ‘Hmm, now I think about it, you do look a bit more serious than usual.’
    â€˜Maybe he’s in lurve!’ Claudio crows. Nudge nudge, wink wink!
    â€˜Never!’ Pedro gasps. ‘He’s lost money on the horses, that’s all.’
    â€˜I’ve got toothache.’ Benedick gives the worst excuse ever.
    The others carry on ribbing him something rotten.
    â€˜Yeah, go ahead and laugh,’ Ben says. ‘It’s different when you’re the one in pain.’
    Claudio is like a dog at a bone. ‘Definitely in lurve!’ he laughs.
    Pedro sets off another chain of quick-fire banter. ‘He doesn’t
look
like a man in love.’
    â€˜Yeah, he does. He’s begun to care about the way he dresses for a start.’
    â€˜Has he restyled his hair?’
    â€˜He’s had a shave!’
    â€˜That does make him look younger,’ Leonato cuts in.
    Pedro nods. ‘And he’s wearing aftershave. You can smell it a mile off.’
    â€˜Oh well, that’s all the proof you need. You’re right, he’s
definitely
in love.’
    â€˜Plus, he’s gone all moody on us.’
    Claudio grins and