Mr. Louie Is Screwy! Read Online Free Page A

“‘Hyphenate’ means to put a dash between two words.”
    â€œI knew that,” I lied.
    Mr. Macky and Miss Daisy were all lovey-dovey, making goo-goo eyes at each other. The girls started planning the wedding. They were talking about what they were going to wear, what presents they should bring, and who Miss Daisyand Mr. Macky’s children would look like.
    I pulled the guys over to the other side of the room. We huddled like a football team.

    â€œThis is horrible,” I told them. “This is the worst day in the history of the world.”
    â€œWhat’s the big deal, A.J.?” asked Michael. “People get married all the time.”
    â€œYeah, but Mr. Macky and Miss Daisy aren’t in love,” I told him. “He only asked her to marry him because of the love potion Mr. Louie put in the water fountain.”
    â€œI think it’s nice that Miss Daisy is going to get married,” said Neil the nude kid.
    â€œDon’t you get it?” I told Neil. “Miss Daisy is the perfect teacher. She can’t read, write, or do math. But if she gets married, she might have a baby and quit working. Then we’ll get a real teacher!”
    â€œA.J.’s right!” Ryan said. “A real teacher will force us to learn stuff.”
    â€œThat would be horrible!” agreed Michael.
    â€œSo what can we do about it?” asked Neil.
    There was only one thing to do.
    â€œWe have to stop the wedding,” I told them.

10
Sabotage!
    Did you ever hear the word “sabotage”? It’s a great word. “Sabotage” is a fancy way to say “mess stuff up.” I’m really good at messing stuff up.
    I learned about sabotage from a spy movie. These good guys blew up a truck to sabotage some bad guys. It was cool. *
    But how do you sabotage a wedding? Blowing up a truck would probably not be a good idea.
    â€œMaybe we can leave a trail of bonbons leading away from the church,” suggested Ryan. “Then Miss Daisy will follow the trail and miss her own wedding.”
    â€œShe’s dumb,” Michael said, “but she’s not that dumb.”
    â€œWe have to convince her that she shouldn’t marry Mr. Macky,” I told the guys.
    â€œHow can we do that?” asked Neil the nude kid. “Andrea and the other girls will mess everything up.”
    Neil was right. If we tried to convinceMiss Daisy not to marry Mr. Macky, the girls were sure to sabotage our plan.
    But then I remembered something. In the morning, all the girls were going to the nurse’s office to be weighed and measured with Mrs. Cooney. It would be our big chance!
    The next morning I waited until the girls left before telling Miss Daisy we had a wedding present for her.
    â€œI love presents!” she said.
    I went to my cubby and got out my old skateboard. I had put a ribbon around it to make it look better.
    â€œThere’s gum in the wheels so they don’t spin very fast anymore,” I told her.“But we wanted you to have it.”
    â€œOh, thank you, A.J.!” Miss Daisy said as she gave me a hug. “That is so thoughtful!”
    â€œWe’re really happy that you and Mr. Macky are getting married,” I lied.
    â€œYeah, we think it’s great,” said Ryan.
    â€œI’m glad to hear you boys say that,” Miss Daisy said.
    â€œIt’s nice that you fell in love with Mr. Macky,” I told her, “even though he’s…uh…different.”
    â€œDifferent?” Miss Daisy asked. “What’s different about him?”
    â€œWell, did you know that Mr. Macky has six toes?” I asked her.
    â€œReally? I didn’t know that,” said Miss Daisy, who doesn’t know anything.
    â€œYup, six toes on each foot,” I said.
    â€œAnd they’re webbed,” added Michael.
    â€œLike a duck.”
    â€œWell, nobody’s perfect,” Miss Daisy said.

    Hmmmm. It didn’t