Mr. Burke Is Berserk! Read Online Free Page B

asked Neil the nude kid.
    â€œGilver is a combination of gold ’n’ silver,” Mr. Burke said excitedly.

    â€œYee-ha!” shouted Mr. Macky. “It’s more valuable than gold. It’s more valuable than silver. It’s gilver!”
    â€œGilver!!”
    â€œGILVER!!!”
    In case you were wondering, all the teachers were shouting “Gilver.”
    â€œThis place is filled with the stuff!” said Mr. Burke. “It’s a bonanza!”
    â€œWe hit pay dirt!” shouted Mr. Macky, jumping up and down and clicking his heels together. “There must be millions of dollars’ worth of gilver down here!”
    â€œBillions!” shouted Miss Small.
    â€œTrillions!” shouted Mr. Granite.
    â€œDo you have any idea what this means for our school?” said Mrs. Jafee. “We can bring back the art and music programs!”
    â€œWe can buy new computers and SMART Boards for every classroom!” shouted Mrs. Yonkers.
    â€œWe can turn the water fountains back on!” shouted Ms. Leakey.
    â€œWe can buy toilet paper for the bathroom!” shouted Miss Lazar.
    â€œYee-ha!” the rest of the teachers shouted.
    All our problems were solved.

9
The Gold Rush
    The teachers filled bag after bag with gilver and carried the bags out of the hole. Mr. Burke told us not to say a word about the gilver to anybody.
    But it didn’t matter. Thanks to all the yelling and shouting, word got out. Five minutes later, people with overalls and hard hats and shovels were streaming into the playground from all directions. Some of them came on dogsleds. Some were in covered wagons. I guess they rented them.
    The next thing we knew, the playground was filled with tents and people making campfires, cooking vittles, and playing harmonicas. It was a real Kodak moment.
    â€œYee-ha!” one guy said. “Ah’m hankerin’ to git me a heap of that gilver!”
    â€œHey, we were here first, you no-good rascal!” said Mr. Macky. “It’s our gilver!”
    â€œFinders keepers!” said another guy. “This is a public school, you varmint, so it’s public property.”
    It looked like a fight was going to break out. But that’s when the weirdest thing in the history of the world happened.
    â€œChannel 7 News is on its way!”
    â€œChannel 7 News is on its way!!”
    â€œCHANNEL 7 NEWS IS ON ITS WAY!!!”
    In case you were wondering, everybody was saying that Channel 7 News was on its way.
    â€œTV? Cameras?” shrieked Andrea. “How does my hair look?”
    â€œEEEEEEEEK! We’re going to be famous!” shrieked Emily.
    Sure enough, a few minutes later a big van pulled up with CHANNEL 7 NEWS written on the side. And you’ll never believe who got out of the van.
    It was Mrs. Lilly, this reporter who helped us make a newspaper about our school!
    Some guys from the news van set up the equipment, and Mrs. Lilly stood next to Mr. Burke.
    â€œThis is Mrs. Lilly, of Channel 7 News,” she said into a microphone. “I’m reporting live from Ella Mentry School, where gilver—a rare combination of gold and silver—has been found in the playground. With me is Mr. Burke, the school grounds-keeper. You were the one who discovered the gilver, Mr. Burke. Tell me, how do you feel right now?”

    â€œAh feel like Ah could eat corn on the cob through a picket fence,” Mr. Burke said.
    â€œI beg your pardon?” asked Mrs. Lilly.
    â€œWhat Ah mean is, right now Ah could just about hit a bull’s backside with a handful of banjos.”
    â€œI’m sorry; I don’t understand,” said Mrs. Lilly.
    â€œAll Ah’m saying is, Ah feel like Ah could bluff a buzzard off a meat wagon right now.”
    â€œHuh?” said Mrs. Lilly. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
    â€œWhat’s a matter, ma’am?” asked Mr. Burke. “Don’tcha speak