Mr. Burke Is Berserk! Read Online Free

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    â€œMr. Burke found gold!”
    â€œMr. Burke found gold!!”
    â€œMR. BURKE FOUND GOLD!!!”

    Just in case you were wondering, lots of kids were talking about how Mr. Burke found gold. Everybody crowded around him as he held up the chunk of gold.
    â€œWell, Ah’ll be dogged,” Mr. Burke said. “Mah great-great-grandpappy lived over yonder back in ’48. He told me there was a heap a gold left in the ground after the big gold rush ended. And Ah reckon it was right here!”
    Mrs. Jafee came running out to the playground.
    â€œWhat’s all the fuss about?” she asked.
    â€œMr. Burke found a piece of gold where the monkey bars used to be,” I told her.
    â€œAh always figgered there wuz gold down there,” he said, “but Ah couldn’t git at it on account a them dang monkey bars. Is it okay with y’all if Ah do a little diggin’ out here?”
    â€œYou betcha!” said Mrs. Jafee. “Dig, baby, dig!”
    Our reading specialist, Mr. Macky, came running out of the school. He was pushing a wheelbarrow.
    â€œDid somebody say gold ?” he asked, all excited.
    â€œWhere did you get a wheelbarrow?” Ryan asked Mr. Macky.
    â€œFrom Rent-A-Wheelbarrow,” said Mr. Macky. “You can rent anything.”
    Suddenly, the other teachers came running out of the school: Ms. Coco, Miss Holly, Mr. Docker, Miss Small—all of them! They were wearing overalls and miner’s helmets. Some of them were carrying pickaxes, shovels, and pans. I guess they rented them.
    â€œYee-ha!” they were all shouting. “Gold!”
    â€œUh, don’t any of you have classes to teach?” asked Andrea.
    â€œClasses?” shouted our librarian, Mrs. Roopy. “Who cares about classes? There’s gold in them thar hills!”
    â€œAnd Ah’m a-fixin’ to fetch me some, dagnabit,” said our speech teacher, Miss Laney.
    â€œYee-ha!” shouted Mr. Granite.
    â€œWhy is everybody suddenly talking like it’s the Wild West?” I asked.
    â€œâ€™Cause we got the gold fever, young feller!” said Mr. Macky. “It drives a man crazy, Ah tell you! Crazy! ”
    â€œAh’m crazier than a run-over coon!” shouted our health teacher, Ms. Leakey.
    â€œAh’m crazier than popcorn on a hot stove!” shouted Mr. Granite.
    â€œYee-ha!” shouted Ms. Coco.
    Grown-ups are weird.
    The teachers started digging holes all over the place and saying words I never heard of, like “tarnation” and “varmint” and “ornery.” Me and the other kids just watched them. At least it was better than going to class.

    â€œAh found me a nugget, y’all!” Miss Holly suddenly shouted. “Yee-ha!”
    â€œA chicken nugget?” I asked.
    â€œNo, a gold nugget!”
    That’s funny. I always thought nuggets came from chickens. We all gathered around to look at Miss Holly’s nugget.
    â€œLook at the way it shines!” she said.
    â€œThat there nugget is as purty as a snake on stilts!” said Mrs. Roopy.
    â€œAh reckon this may be the biggest gold strike in over a hundred years,” said Mr. Burke.
    The teachers let out a big “yee-ha” and started digging all over the place with even more excitement.
    â€œAh found one, too!” shouted Miss Small.
    â€œSo did Ah!” said Mr. Granite.
    They were all uncovering gold. That’s when a big black car pulled up to the playground. And you’ll never believe who got out of it.
    It was Mayor Hubble! And he was coming over.

    Suddenly, all the teachers stopped digging. Mayor Hubble was staring at the teachers. The teachers were staring at Mayor Hubble. The kids were staring at the teachers and Mayor Hubble. Everybody was staring at each other. You could hear a pin drop. *
    I was sure Mayor Hubble was going to tell them to stop digging and go back to class. But he didn’t.
    â€œDig!” he