Moving Forward Read Online Free Page A

being vulnerable with anyone wasn’t easy for my James, but with me, he could let his guard down and know it was safe. It had taken some time for him to feel completely at ease with me, but now he did, and I wanted very much to offer him comfort and strength in whatever way possible. But Jamie assured me he was fine. And he asked if I could stay with Aubrey so the next door neighbor could at least return to her house long enough to shower and change before returning—at her own insistence—to help with visitors dropping in to offer comfort and/or provisions.

    It was my first time alone with Aubrey. Actually, it was my first time alone with any baby, and needless to say, I was more than a little nervous. “Keep in mind that Uncle Pay is new to this, so take it easy on me, princess.”

    Aubrey simply looked up at me with big blue eyes, and I knew the little girl would have me wrapped around her finger before she uttered her first actual words. She was a mixture of Ava and Matt, and she was perfect. Beautiful. Sweet. I held her for a long time after feeding her, and mentally, I was listing everything Jamie and I would need to do to prepare our apartment for the little girl’s arrival. The guest room would need to be converted into a proper nursery, with a crib and all the other necessities, and we would need to begin baby-proofing everything. Sure, it would be a while before Aubrey was mobile, but I didn’t want to take any chances. Jamie and I needed to discuss what would work best as far as child care—a private nanny or a daycare center. It was overwhelming. But I knew we would handle everything, one step at a time. No, neither of us had ever thought we would actually be in this position, even when Matt and Ava drafted their official Will and Testament, but the unimaginable had become reality, and together we would do whatever was best for the little girl left in our care.

    In the meantime, I decided there was something I wanted to do for Jamie, and when Mrs. Sutherland returned, I left Aubrey in her care. After changing into fresh jeans and T-shirt, I grabbed my wallet and the keys to the rental car.

    “If Jamie and Emma get back before me, just tell him I won’t be gone long,” I told the accommodating neighbor.

    Mrs. Sutherland promised to give Jamie the message, and less than twenty minutes later, I parked in front of Griffin’s Pub. I wasn’t looking forward to seeing Russ. Once, I had respected the man. He had treated me with respect (more so than he ever had Jamie), but once I came out, Russ suddenly had no use for me, and while that was insulting, what made me hate the man was his total disregard for his son, the man I loved more than life. Anyone who hurt my husband could happily kiss my ass. Russ included. Hell, as far as I was concerned, Russ especially could kiss my ass. If I never had to see the man again, that was fine, but I wasn’t going to stand back and leave it to Jamie to try and reason with Russ when he was already shouldering more than enough reasonability. His mother was really leaning on him, and frankly, Emma ranked far higher than Russ in my book. I wasn’t surprised by the surge of annoyed disgust I felt when I finally spotted Russ’s truck in the pub’s parking lot, proof the man was indeed inside drinking when he should have been with his wife (estranged or not), supporting her through the ordeal of arranging their daughter’s and son-in-law’s funerals.

    Gathering my emotions as best I could, I got out of the car and walked into the pub.

    It was small, dark, the smell of cigarette smoke hung heavily in the air. After a moment, my eyes adjusted, and I spotted Russ in a corner booth. He had a shot glass and a bottle, and I clenched my jaw as I crossed the room to stand beside his table. He looked up at me with bloodshot eyes that instantly grew chilled.

    “What the fuck are you doing here?” he asked with a sneer. I wanted to punch him in the face, but logically, I knew