that moment. None of us ever saw her or heard from her again. I figured she just left school and went back home, wherever home was for her. I felt terrible for what happened to her, but I didn’t plan it nor did I realize the intentions of the upperclassmen. They were basically using us to get some free playtime, as they called it; it had been their plan all along.
“So there you have it. I’m not a rapist or any of the other awful things she thinks I am. I didn’t set her up to be gang raped!”
I looked from Hilary to Miranda, who looked pale and woozy. I knew this was a major revelation and had to be a huge disappointment, given how long we’d been married. You always think you know someone and then . . . bam ! I wasn’t a rapist, but I’d allowed it to happen, and I sure as hell hadn’t stopped it. This was a pretty big bam .
“Dad, I can’t believe you would do such a thing! What a creep! All you jocks are just assholes!” Hilary yelled as she jumped from the couch and headed for the staircase.
“Listen, like I said, to me it was nothing more than two college kids having sex at a party. I never planned for any of that to happen. And I already admitted I acted cowardly when I realized what the others were doing.” I yelled back, heading for the staircase to cut Hilary off.
She tried to push me aside. “You didn’t stop it either. You’re just as guilty!”
I tried to reason with her. “I wasn’t a grown man, husband, father, or officer. I was a stupid eighteen-year-old drunken kid. It’s not a good excuse, but it’s the truth.”
“Both of you. Please.” My wife had found her voice. “Hilary, you’ve heard and said enough. All you need to know is, while your dad isn’t perfect, he certainly isn’t a rapist. And although he should have reported his teammates, you can clearly see how a person in his position wouldn’t have. I probably wouldn’t have and neither would you. I don’t blame your father for what his teammates did. You shouldn’t either. And in the midst of it all, I do not believe Lisa would have believed your story, David. If it had been me, I sure wouldn’t have. From her perspective, you look like a monster who set her up to be gang raped. You look like an asshole jock and a terrible person.”
I leaned against the banister and buried my face in my hands. I was embarrassed and humiliated, just as I’d been so long ago.
Miranda came over and wrapped her arms around me. “This doesn’t change how much I love you. It doesn’t change who I think you are—who I know you are. I wish you would have somehow found a way to tell me about all this. I do wish that. But my time away from all of you makes me appreciate every second we have together—even now. I want to spend every minute I have left loving you and enjoying our life.”
I couldn’t believe my ears. After knowing I was basically responsible for how she’d spent her last year, all the pain and torment she’d been through, she was still the same kind, forgiving, loving person. What an amazing woman—a truly amazing woman.
I hugged Miranda again and gave her the warmest kiss I could muster up. I hated letting her down and seeing a look of disappoint in her eyes.
“I’m sorry I never told you about all of this. I never in a million years thought Stacy and Lisa were the same person. It was all so long ago. I suppose I was afraid . . . . afraid of what you’d think of me and my cowardice.” We hugged again. Then I reached down and gently kissed her lips.
“Well, Dad, you’re on a roll. Anymore skeletons you want to unload while you’re at it?”
“Hilary, that’s enough,” Miranda said. ”We’ve all been through so much. And it’s not over, not by a long shot. All we have is family, and right now one of us is missing. I need your dad to suck it up now and find my baby!”
That was exactly what I intended to do. Time to track down Lisa “Stacy” Crease and find my