home.
Granny watched him go, shaking her head.
People were so blind , she reflected. They preferred to believe in gibberish rather than chiropracty.
Of course, it was just as well this was so. Sheâd much rather they went âooâ when she seemed to know who was approaching her cottage than work out that it conveniently overlooked a bend in the track, and as for the door-latch and the trick with the length of black thread ⦠2
But what had she done? Sheâd just tricked a rather dim old man.
Sheâd faced wizards, monsters and elves ⦠and now she was feeling pleased with herself because sheâd fooled Jarge Weaver, a man whoâd twice failed to become Village Idiot through being over-qualified.
It was the slippery slope. Next thing itâd be cackling and gibbering and luring children into the oven. And it wasnât as if she even liked children.
For years Granny Weatherwax had been contented enough with the challenge that village witchcraft could offer. And then sheâd been forced to go travelling, and sheâd seen a bit of the world, and it had made her itchy â especially at this time of the year, when the geese were flying overhead and the first frost had mugged innocent leaves in the deeper valleys.
She looked around at the kitchen. It neededsweeping. The washing-up needed doing. The walls had grown grubby. There seemed to be so much to do that she couldnât bring herself to do any of it.
There was a honking far above, and a ragged V of geese sped over the clearing.
They were heading for warmer weather in places Granny Weatherwax had only heard about.
It was tempting.
The selection committee sat around the table in the office of Mr Seldom Bucket, the Opera Houseâs new owner. Heâd been joined by Salzella, the musical director, and Dr Undershaft, the chorus master.
âAnd so,â said Mr Bucket, âwe come to ⦠letâs see ⦠yes, Christine ⦠Marvellous stage presence, eh? Good figure, too.â He winked at Dr Undershaft.
âYes. Very pretty,â said Dr Undershaft flatly. âCanât sing, though.â
âWhat you artistic types donât realize is this is the Century of the Fruitbat,â said Bucket. âOpera is a production, not just a lot of songs.â
âSo you say. But â¦â
âThe idea that a soprano should be fifteen acres of bosom in a horned helmet belongs to the past, like.â
Salzella and Undershaft exchanged glances. So he was going to be that kind of owner â¦
âUnfortunately,â said Salzella sourly, âthe idea that a soprano should have a reasonable singing voice does not belong to the past. She has a good figure, yes. She certainly has a ⦠sparkle. But she canât sing .â
âYou can train her, canât you?â said Bucket. âA few years in the chorus â¦â
âYes, maybe after a few years, if I persevere, she will be merely very bad,â said Undershaft.
âEr, gentlemen,â said Mr Bucket. âAhem. All right. Cards on the table, eh? Iâm a simple man, me. No beating about the bush, speak as you find, call a spade a spadeââ
âDo give us your forthright views,â said Salzella. Definitely that kind of owner, he thought. Self-made man proud of his handiwork. Confuses bluffness and honesty with merely being rude. I wouldnât mind betting a dollar that he thinks he can tell a manâs character by testing the firmness of his handshake and looking deeply into his eyes.
âIâve been through the mill, I have,â Bucket began, âand I made myself what I am todayââ
Self-raising flour? thought Salzella.
ââbut I have to, er, declare a bit of a financial interest. Her dad did, er, in fact, er, lend me a fair whack of money to help me buy this place, and he made a heartfelt fatherly request in regard to his daughter. If I bring it to mind correctly,