likely to prove shortlived. Sheâs screaming in terror, and Iâm wondering whether this would be a good moment to remind her that it had been her idea.
BLUE
Without giving her the slightest warning, I told my wife I was leaving.
âO.K.,â she said. âBye, then.â
In case she had misunderstood, I explained that I wouldnât be coming back.
She shrugged. âFine,â she said. âIf thatâs your decision.â
âAre you going to be O.K.?â I asked.
âWhy wouldnât I be O.K.?â
I had expected there to be at least a little scene after such monumental news from out of the blue, and a part of me was disappointed that she was taking things so calmly. I had even rehearsed a speech in which I told her not to cry, and assured her that she would, in time, find love with somebody else. Instead of delivering it, I just walked away. Halfway down the garden path I realised Iâd forgotten to pack my favourite mug, so I crept back inside.
I was relieved to find her curled in a ball on the sofa, hugging a framed wedding photograph, loudly repeating my name, and bawling like a toddler whoâs left their bear on the train.
PROMISE III
As I held her in my arms on our wedding night, Anemone said, âYou remember all that stuff we said earlier, about staying together forever, and never doing it with anyone else?â I nodded. âWeâre not going to take that
too
seriously, are we?â
REACH
My fiancée died. With tears in their eyes, her mother and father told me there had been a tradition in their ancestral village for the bereaved man to marry the deceasedâs younger sister. Though they understood that we were all leading modern lives, they implored us to respect this ancient code.
I was far too heartbroken to consider a new romance, and to complicate things further her sister and I had never found any common ground. We both knew how much it would mean to her parents, though, and after a private talk we agreed to play along for a while. Inevitably, we got on each otherâs nervesâshe with her free-spirited ways and eccentric fashion sense, and me with my stubbornly conventional lifestyle and wardrobe.
Gradually, we realised we had more in common than weâd thought, and even began to learn from one anotherâme to loosen up, and she to take a little more responsibility for herself. Together we were able to find the strength we needed to get through this difficult time, and at last we reached a point where we were able to laugh again. With this new familiarity came real fondness, and though we both tried to run from these emotions, they were just too strong. One day, in a scenic location, we found ourselves locked in a romantic embrace.
Itâs worked out well: her parents are happy; weâre now properly engaged rather than just pretending; and weâve even sold our story to Hollywood. A bittersweet culture clash romcom,
Marrying May Wong,
is about to open at over three thousand locations, before being rolled out across forty-two international territories. Early research suggests it has a wide demographic reach, considerable prerelease awareness and a good chance of a strong opening weekend.
CHURCH II
My fiancée had never been even slightly religious, but all the talk of God during our marriage ceremony got her thinking, and she started to believe. As a result, our wedding night wasnât quite what I had hoped it would be. âThereâs no way Iâm taking all my clothes off with
Him
watching,â she said.
BRAVE
My wife gave me a big hug, and told me I was going to have to be very brave. âIâm really sorry,â she said, âbut I just donât think I can carry on being married to you.â
I couldnât understand why she would walk out on everything we had. âIs there somebody else?â I asked.
âNo,â she said, âthere isnât. But I would really,
really
like