Little Lost Angel Read Online Free Page B

wrote Shanda the following note:
Shanda,
When I went to Melinda’s house she asked me to go back with her. What’s killing me is that I want to go with both of you. I’m confused because I love you both. Shanda I love you.
    Love ya,       
Amanda Poo
    Later that day, just to be sure there was no confusion about her affections, Amanda wrote Shanda another note:
Shanda,
God you look good in those pants. Your butt especially.
    Amanda
    Amanda asked Shanda to accompany her to a dance at Hazelwood, knowing that Melinda did not like dances and had made plans to spend the evening with her friend KaryPope. Seventeen-year-old Kary was also a lesbian, and although she and Melinda had petted and kissed each other, they had never been serious lovers. They’d met through a group of gay and lesbian teenagers that hung out together in New Albany and Louisville. Kary looked, dressed, and carried herself like a young man. She had a lanky build, a plain face, and short brown hair that she combed to one side. She also had her own car and knew someone who would buy her and Melinda wine coolers.
    On the night of the dance, Melinda was drinking heavily. She pleaded with Kary to take her by the school so she could see if Amanda was with Shanda. Kary tried to talk her out of it. She knew that if Melinda found the two girls together there would be trouble. But Melinda insisted, and they ended up in the parking lot, waiting for the dance to end. When Melinda saw Amanda and Shanda walk out together she became livid. She jumped out of the car and confronted them as a crowd circled around.
    “I just went off on Amanda,” Melinda said later. “I started yelling at her in front of the whole school, and the principal was there. I just started yelling and crying. Amanda wanted us to take it to her house but I told her we’d settle it there and now. I smacked her across the face.”
    After the Hazelwood principal had broken up the fight, Amanda left with Melinda and Kary.
    “Amanda told me that she and Shanda were just friends and that it was no big deal and that Shanda needed someone to talk to,” Melinda recalled. “I told her that was fine but that she shouldn’t talk to her unless I was there and that’s how I wanted it to be.”
    A few days later Melinda was turning a corridor corner at Hazelwood when she spied Amanda up ahead. She was about to yell out a greeting, but before she did she caught sight of Shanda. Melinda hung back, watching as Amanda and Shanda began talking and laughing. There would be no confrontation this time. Tears came to her eyes, and she turned away.
    “There for a while Amanda and I kind of stopped seeing each other,” Melinda said. “I was just hurt. I cried a lot and was depressed.”
    Melinda felt abandoned. She told her sisters, Michelleand Melissa, that Amanda had betrayed her. Hoping to ease her loss, one of her sisters told Melinda that a lesbian friend, eighteen-year-old Carrie East, had expressed an interest in dating her. Melinda began going out with Carrie, hoping that Amanda would find out, become jealous, and come running back to her arms.
    Meanwhile, Amanda tried to convince Shanda that the difficult times were behind them now that Melinda was out of their lives. In the early part of October, Amanda wrote Shanda the following three letters:
Shanda,
I’m sorry for all the stuff that has been happening. I never meant for you to get in any trouble. I’m sorry and if you don’t want to see me anymore I’ll understand, OK. I’m all yours, not Melinda’s. She fucked up my life and I finally understand because for so long my dad has been trying to tell me that Melinda was a bad person but I didn’t believe him. But I realize myself that she’s not the kind of person I should be hanging around. Please find somewhere in your heart to forgive me because I probably won’t be able to look at you without crying. I feel so bad for what I’ve done. I should have listened to you when you said it was