Lilia's Secret Read Online Free

of the newspaper as she reached the door. She turned the handle but let her hand fall away and he dropped his eyes back to the newspaper as she turned around and came back to the table.
    â€˜Hon, why don’t you do something today?’ she asked.
    Bill pursed his lips and pushed his glasses down his nose.
    â€˜After all, it’s been a couple of months now.’
    â€˜I do lots of things,’ he said.
    â€˜Something more meaningful than shopping.’ She frowned at him. ‘I know you wanted to rest after working so long and so hard, but I think it may have been a mistake to give up everything at once.’
    Bill held up a splayed hand to ward off her words. ‘We’ve been through this, Carole. I know what I’m doing.’ But he didn’t and maybe it had been a mistake.
    She bent over the table, her palms flat against the glass surface. ‘You could do something completely different,’ she said.
    Bill stared at the marks her hands had left as she fished in her bag and pulled out a brochure. She must have planned this talk. So she did still think of him occasionally. He looked at the front-page photograph of a smiling, grey-haired woman sitting in front of a pottery wheel with her hands caked in a thick mud cream. The pulse at his right temple started to jump.
    â€˜For Christ’s sake, Carole. I’ve just finished work after forty years with only seven days off sick. I want to enjoy what I’ve worked for.’
    â€˜I mean you could give a course, not take it,’ Carole went on, her face clear and earnest. Wrinkles had started to creep into the softening around her eyes and mouth. He hadn’t noticed that before. She was a determined woman, that’s why she did so well at her charities. Looking at her now he wondered whether that single-mindedness was in her nature or whether it was a defence against the life she’d led. She hadn’t complained for years. In the beginning she wanted to see more of him and she wanted him to be with the girls more, but they were the years when he needed to keep his eyes on the ball. And if he hadn’t, they wouldn’t be living the easy life they did now.
    It occurred to him in a flash of understanding that Carole may have been happier with less. She hadn’t wanted this grand house at first. He had insisted because of the double marble staircase. It was the kind of thing that defined your status without you ever having to say a word.
    â€˜Well, Carole,’ he said in a softer voice, ‘I don’t know. I’m just tired. I don’t know … I’m so tired.’
    Carole spoke back quietly too. ‘Why don’t you ring Tom to see if there’s a place on the Blake and MacKenzie board?’
    He looked up at her. ‘It’s gone. I told them I wouldn’t want anything for at least a year.’
    â€˜I know, but I think you should let them know that you’ve changed your mind.’
    He held her gaze for a moment, and then nodded. ‘Yes, perhaps I have changed my mind.’
    Carole smiled back in relief. She covered one of his fists on the table with her hand and gave it a little shake.
    â€˜Do it today, Bill. Do it today.’
    He nodded.
    She gathered her keys and handbag and stood above him as if waiting for something. ‘It’s just an adjustment,’ she whispered, then touched her cheek his and hurried to the door.
    Bill’s eyes watered. He wanted to call back her softness, he wanted the things inside him to spill out into her waiting arms. He imagined how easy he would feel again. But it wasn’t their way.

    Later that morning he was in his den slumped over his desk, counting the grains in the leather pad. He lost count three times and then forgot whether he was including the burgundy along with the browns. He rubbed his stubble hard and picked up the phone.
    â€˜Hi Betty, it’s Bill here. Bill Bixton. Is Tom around?’
    Betty’s