Lauren Takes Leave Read Online Free Page B

a
fastidious, rule-loving person like her is all about public service to one’s
country. She leans back in my chair, pleasant now, good cop and bad cop all
wrapped up in one suburban middle school principal. “I didn’t realize.”
    Milking it for all it’s worth, I smile coldly and say,
“No, it seems you did not.” Ha, ha, take that! Ka-pow! Right back
atcha!
    I stand, willing this to be over. Maybe I can make it down
to Kat’s classroom after all.
    Martha shoots me a look. “We’re not finished here, Mrs.
Worthing. Lauren.”
    Immediately, I sit. Heel, good doggie . I return to
staring at the tiny pulsating blue vein next to her eye.
    “As I mentioned to you in our last meeting, you are, in
general, a disappointment to me.”
    This registers in my stomach before it hits my brain. I
lean forward just enough to cover my belly from any more blows.
    “Have you nothing to say to that?”
    “I’m not sure,” I say. “I’m not sure I understand.”
    “Typical,” she responds, clearly offended.
    “Typical what?” I ask. Blonde? English teacher? Frazzled
mother?
    Actually, now that I’ve asked it, I’m not sure I want to
hear her answer. I just want to get out of this classroom, much like Martin
must have felt a few minutes ago under my gaze.
    “Mrs.…Lauren,” she begins, tapping my hot-pink highlighter
against the linoleum desktop. “You need to be clear when you are calling
for a substitute. You had me quite distraught for nothing! I wasted seventeen minutes
of time on you this morning, all because of your lack of precision. Plus,
do you think I haven’t noticed how your performance has dropped off in recent
months? You arrive just moments before homeroom and leave just moments after
dismissal. I notice. I see . You refuse to serve on the committee for
children with—what’s it called…”
    “Differentiated Learning?”
    “No, no that one…”
    “Allergies and Asthma?”
    “No, no, no…”
    “Same-Sex Parenting?”
    “We decided against that committee…”
    Although, now that I’m mentioning them, I realize how many
opportunities I have turned down this year.
    And then she remembers. “Homework Aversion Disorder!”
    “That’s a thing?”
    “Yes, and you reneged at the last moment! You never signed
the paperwork. The committee folded because of your irresponsibility.”
    “That wasn’t me!” I say, truly concerned. “I’ve never even
heard of such a committee.”
    “You gave me a verbal commitment, Mrs. Lauren. And then
you missed the meeting and never filed the forms.”
    Wouldn’t I remember giving her such a promise?
    It’s gaslighting, I’m telling you. She makes me think that
I’m crazy, remaining calm as I come undone.
    “That’s not true—” I begin, but she silences me with her
palm.
    “The point is…” Here she stands, stretching her long torso
across my desk to get as close to me as she possibly can. “I. Am. Watching.
You.”
    “O…kay,” I say. I’ve never in my life hit someone, but
right now, I wonder what it would feel like if my fist made contact with her
aquiline nose. Better to do that than to burst into tears.
    “Which is why I’ve decided to be your substitute
teacher for the day.” Martha tilts her head upward, the steadiness of her chin
challenging me to disagree.
    “Excellent,” I choke out. “Let me just grab a few things
before I go.”
    I quickly take the hastily written lesson plan and stick
it inside a folder of essays that I clutch to my chest. Then I speed walk my
way the hell out of there.
    Martha’s so confident, I’m sure she’ll think of a
brilliant assignment with which to fill the time.
    In fact, wouldn’t it be fun to get placed on a really long
court case just to spite her? Okay, fine. I’ll take that back. I’m desperate,
but I’m not delusional.
    I call Kat’s classroom from my cell phone as I’m getting
into my car. I can instantly tell that her kindergarteners are within earshot.
    “Where the truck are