Lauren Ipsum: A Story About Computer Science and Other Improbable Things Read Online Free Page B

said Ponens.
    “Oh, good.”
    “Did you set up a hint with your account?” asked Tollens.
    “Well, no,” she said. “This is my first time here.”
    “Then it’s hard luck for you, miss,” said Ponens. “Once you are
inside, do make sure to set up a hint for the next time.”
    “And remember to change your password to something memorable, but hard to guess,”
said Tollens. “It’s just good security.”
    “But I’m trying to get inside! I don’t know what to
do!”

    “It’s very simple,” said Ponens. “If you have a password, then that
means you can pass through the semantic turnstile.”
    “And if you can’t pass through the turnstile, then that means you don’t have
a password. It’s only logical,” Tollens said.
    “That’s not completely true, is it?” Laurie said. “What if the
turnstile is broken? I wouldn’t be able to enter even if I had a password.”
    “Um . . .” Tollens looked a little unsure of himself.
    “Or what if I fooled you into believing I had the password, even if
I didn’t? Then I could enter without it.”
    “Hmm.” Ponens considered Laurie’s argument, trying to find a flaw.
    Laurie rushed on. “Or what if I had the password, but I didn’t want to give it to
you?”
    “No, you still couldn’t encroach on our premises,” Ponens said with more
confidence. “You have to give us a password that matches the name you give us.”
    “Is it ‘Laurie’?” she guessed.
    “No!” they shouted together.
    “Is it ‘November First’?” That was Laurie’s birthday.
    “No!” they shouted again.
    “Only one try left, miss,” said Tollens.
    “Oh, no! Really?”
    “You can try only so many times. It’s just good security.”
    “Do I even have an account?” she wondered.
    “We can’t confirm or deny that,” answered Ponens. “That would be bad
security.”
    “Do I . . . not have an account?”
    “We can’t deny or confirm that, either!” answered Tollens.
    “It’s very simple—” began Ponens.
    “—yes, yes,” Laurie interrupted. “If I have it, I know it, but if I
don’t, you can’t tell me. And you can give me a hint only if I set it up earlier!”
This certainly was very good security. Think, Laurie, think!
    “Okay, let’s start over,” she said.
    “Very well, miss,” said Tollens. “Name?”
    “I told you, it’s Lau—” she stopped herself. “Actually . . . my
name is Eponymous Bach.”
    “Password?” said Ponens.
    It couldn’t be that simple, could it?
    “Bach’s Password.”
    “Welcome!” said Ponens and Tollens, waving her through the turnstile.
    Of course Bach would name her password after herself!

Chapter 6. A Tinker’s Trade

    When Laurie and Xor were safely inside the town walls, the little lizard popped his head out
of Laurie’s pocket.
    “See what I mean? Let’s hope they don’t figure out what you did to get in
here,” Xor said. “So, why are we here?”
    “We’re looking for information that could help me get home. Maybe we can find a
map or something.”
    “Oh,” said Xor. “I was hoping you were going to say food. Why don’t we
try this place?”
    In front of them was a storefront with a very fancy sign painted on the window:

    “ Al-go-rith-ms . That sounds like a kind of fruit.”
    “Are you always hungry, Xor?”
    “Time flies like an arrow, and fruit flies like a banana. Let’s see if
there’s a fruit fly problem I can help them solve.”
    A bell jingled as Laurie opened the door. “Hello, hello!” the shopkeeper said.
“And welcome to my shop. I’m Tinker, and you are looking for a finely crafted algorithm,
am I right?”
    Laurie looked at the items listed on the chalkboard, but they didn’t make any
sense.

    “I’m not sure. What is an algorithm? Can you eat it?”
asked Laurie.
    “What? No, it’s just a fancy way of saying ‘how to do something.’ But Algorithm looks more impressive on the sign,” said Tinker.
    Xor turned orange with disappointment.
    “How to do