Laughing Gas Read Online Free
bringing round a swooned subject is to bite the ear, but I couldn't very well bite this divine girl's ear. Apart from anything else, I felt I didn't know her well enough.
Fortunately, before I was called upon to take any steps, her eyelids fluttered and she gave a little sigh. Her eyes opened.
'Where am I?' she murmured.
I looked out of the window.
'Well, I'm a stranger in these parts myself,' I said, 'but I think somewhere in New Mexico.' She sat up.
'Oh, I feel so mortified ' 'Eh?'
'You must think me so silly, fainting like that.' 'My fault entirely. I oughtn't to have dished the dreadful details.'
'It wasn't your fault. Most girls would have enjoyed it. Though I think there is something terribly unfeminine ... Go on, Lord Havershot, what happened after that?'
'No, no. I wouldn't dream of telling you.'
'Do. Please.'
'Oh, well, putting the thing in a nutshell, he soaked him on the button, don't you know, and his day's work was done.'
'Could you get me a glass of water?'
I leaped to the bottle. She sipped in a fluttering sort of way.
'Thank you,' she said. 'I feel better now. I'm sorry I was so silly.'
'You weren't silly.'
'Oh, but I was. Terribly silly.'
'You weren't silly at all. The whole episode reflects great credit on your womanly nature.'
And I was about to add that I had never in my puff beheld anything that had stirred me more deeply than the way she had turned her toes up, when the negroid bloke poked his nose in at the door and announced that lunch was served.
'You go along,' she said. 'I'm sure you must be starving.'
'Aren't you coming?'
'I think I'll just lie here and rest. I still feel... No, you go along.'
'I should like to kick myself.' 'Why?'
'For being such a chump. Sullying your ears like that.' 'Please , Do go and get your lunch.' 'But will you be all right?' 'Oh, yes.' 'You're sure?'
'Oh, yes, really. I shall just lie here and think of flowers. I often do that - just lie around and think of flowers. Roses, chiefly. It seems to make everything beautiful and fragrant again.'
So I pushed off. And as I sat eating my steak and fried, I put in some pretty intensive thinking between the mouthfuls.
Of course I saw what had happened. These volcanic symptoms were unmistakable. A chap's heart does not go pit-a-pat, as mine was doing, for nothing. This was the
real thing, and what I had taken for a strong man's passion when I had got engaged to Ann Bannister two years ago had been merely Class B stuff. Yes, there was no getting away from it. At long last Love had wound its silken fetters about Reginald Havershot.
I had suspected this from the first. The very moment I had set eyes on this girl, I had received the distinct impression that she was my soul-mate, and everything that had passed between us had made me more certain on the point. It was that sweet, tender, gentle wistfulness of hers that had got in amongst me to such a marked extent. I suppose this is always the way with beefy birds like me. Something draws us instinctively to the fragile flowerets.
It was in a sober, thoughtful spirit that I polished off the steak and put in a bid for deep-dish apple pie with a bit of cheese on the side.
Chapter 3
A nd I'll tell you why I was sober and thoughtful. It was because I recognized that this, as they say in the stories, was not an end but a beginning. I mean to say, it was all very well to have fallen in love at first sight, but that didn't take me very far. Where, I was asking myself, did I go from there? What of the future? In other words, what steps was I to take in order to bring about the happy finish? The fact had to be faced that if banns were ever to be put up and clergymen were ever to say 'Wilt thou, Reginald? some pretty heavy work lay ahead of me. In no sense could the thing be looked upon as a walkover.
You see, I have kept it from you till now, but there are certain defects in my personal appearance which prevent me being everybody's money where the opposite sex is
Fortunately, before I was called upon to take any steps, her eyelids fluttered and she gave a little sigh. Her eyes opened.
'Where am I?' she murmured.
I looked out of the window.
'Well, I'm a stranger in these parts myself,' I said, 'but I think somewhere in New Mexico.' She sat up.
'Oh, I feel so mortified ' 'Eh?'
'You must think me so silly, fainting like that.' 'My fault entirely. I oughtn't to have dished the dreadful details.'
'It wasn't your fault. Most girls would have enjoyed it. Though I think there is something terribly unfeminine ... Go on, Lord Havershot, what happened after that?'
'No, no. I wouldn't dream of telling you.'
'Do. Please.'
'Oh, well, putting the thing in a nutshell, he soaked him on the button, don't you know, and his day's work was done.'
'Could you get me a glass of water?'
I leaped to the bottle. She sipped in a fluttering sort of way.
'Thank you,' she said. 'I feel better now. I'm sorry I was so silly.'
'You weren't silly.'
'Oh, but I was. Terribly silly.'
'You weren't silly at all. The whole episode reflects great credit on your womanly nature.'
And I was about to add that I had never in my puff beheld anything that had stirred me more deeply than the way she had turned her toes up, when the negroid bloke poked his nose in at the door and announced that lunch was served.
'You go along,' she said. 'I'm sure you must be starving.'
'Aren't you coming?'
'I think I'll just lie here and rest. I still feel... No, you go along.'
'I should like to kick myself.' 'Why?'
'For being such a chump. Sullying your ears like that.' 'Please , Do go and get your lunch.' 'But will you be all right?' 'Oh, yes.' 'You're sure?'
'Oh, yes, really. I shall just lie here and think of flowers. I often do that - just lie around and think of flowers. Roses, chiefly. It seems to make everything beautiful and fragrant again.'
So I pushed off. And as I sat eating my steak and fried, I put in some pretty intensive thinking between the mouthfuls.
Of course I saw what had happened. These volcanic symptoms were unmistakable. A chap's heart does not go pit-a-pat, as mine was doing, for nothing. This was the
real thing, and what I had taken for a strong man's passion when I had got engaged to Ann Bannister two years ago had been merely Class B stuff. Yes, there was no getting away from it. At long last Love had wound its silken fetters about Reginald Havershot.
I had suspected this from the first. The very moment I had set eyes on this girl, I had received the distinct impression that she was my soul-mate, and everything that had passed between us had made me more certain on the point. It was that sweet, tender, gentle wistfulness of hers that had got in amongst me to such a marked extent. I suppose this is always the way with beefy birds like me. Something draws us instinctively to the fragile flowerets.
It was in a sober, thoughtful spirit that I polished off the steak and put in a bid for deep-dish apple pie with a bit of cheese on the side.
Chapter 3
A nd I'll tell you why I was sober and thoughtful. It was because I recognized that this, as they say in the stories, was not an end but a beginning. I mean to say, it was all very well to have fallen in love at first sight, but that didn't take me very far. Where, I was asking myself, did I go from there? What of the future? In other words, what steps was I to take in order to bring about the happy finish? The fact had to be faced that if banns were ever to be put up and clergymen were ever to say 'Wilt thou, Reginald? some pretty heavy work lay ahead of me. In no sense could the thing be looked upon as a walkover.
You see, I have kept it from you till now, but there are certain defects in my personal appearance which prevent me being everybody's money where the opposite sex is
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